Dumbest member of your family that you know of

Illustrious Potentate

Illustrious Potentate

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I never met the guy, he died when I was 2, but my grandpa’s uncle(who was the same age as my grandpa) burned down the Forsyth County courthouse in 1973.

He lived maybe half a mile from the courthouse and was well known by the police department

But he went back to the scene of the crime and stood front row watching them try to put out the fire while wearing shorts.

The sheriff, who probably already suspected him noticed the singed leg hairs. Dude ran, got caught and confessed and served several years in prison.

Other than that, I have some cousins who have fried their brain with meth
 
I have a cousin who has quite literally been a meth whore for over 20 years. It’s a toss up whether she has more brain cells or teeth.
 
Illustrious Potentate said:
I never met the guy, he died when I was 2, but my grandpa’s uncle(who was the same age as my grandpa) burned down the Forsyth County courthouse in 1973.

He lived maybe half a mile from the courthouse and was well known by the police department

But he went back to the scene of the crime and stood front row watching them try to put out the fire while wearing shorts.

The sheriff, who probably already suspected him noticed the singed leg hairs. Dude ran, got caught and confessed and served several years in prison.

Other than that, I have some cousins who have fried their brain with meth
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In 2021, he'd be considered a progressive hero...
 
How extended are we going?


And there's differences in "smart" in my family. You've got doctors and nuclear engineers, and you've got non educated people who are farmers who have a lot of practical knowledge.


There's not really any real fuck ups that I can think of.
 
Illustrious Potentate said:
Is she single?
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Yes. She’s got to be pushing 60 by now and she’s probably got every STD known to man, but if you’re interested, I’ll put in a good word for you. Otherwise, a picture of Abraham Lincoln and a Big Gulp will likely get you a toothless blowjob.
 
williewilliejuan said:
Yes. She’s got to be pushing 60 by now and she’s probably got every STD known to man, but if you’re interested, I’ll put in a good word for you. Otherwise, a picture of Abraham Lincoln and a Big Gulp will likely get you a toothless blowjob.
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Right up my alley. Put in that word for me
 
The only person ever hung in Evangeline Parish was my grandmother's Uncle...

Euzebe Vidrine

Nonc Zeb kilt a few folks and dey hung him!

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I feel like some I know are in competition for this title.
 
My cousin Andy (Zeke) was bit of a knucklehead in high school and afterwards started hanging out with some losers that were always looking to steal something. One day in his early 20's he and his pal came across an unlocked car and opened the door to take the briefcase and some files on the front seat. Turns out it was an insurance adjusters car and the briefcase had book of settlement checks so he wrote a check out with himself as the payee and forged the adjusters name and headed to the bank. It worked!

They figured that they hit the lottery and proceeded to blow through the checks in the book, but the problem is that these two fucking dummies were writing the checks out to themselves because they knew they would need to show an ID to cash them :L duh!

Anyways they wrote themselves about 20 checks between the 2 of them with the total amount being over 50K in the next few weeks by the time the insurance company started getting the checks returned from the banks and catching on to the scam. Needless to say the investigation took about 5 minutes and those bozos found themselves charged with a whole bunch of felony offenses. Zeke agreed to testify against his much older pal and got off easy. He was sentenced to 25 years in the state prison while his buddy got 40. Don't know what happened to his friend, but Zeke was out in 6-7 years and wound up knocking up and marrying one of the ugliest women (complete with facial tics) you'll ever see in your life and somehow managed to raise a son that is pretty good kid. Andy the III is gotta be in his late twenties and is doing well in the Army.
 
Easy
My brother. Because he married the dumbest person I know
 
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