Someone is looking to get a custom mudhole stomped in dey ass today.
Dumbshit a few weeks ago: blah, blah, blah. Your boss pawned me off onto another one of your VP's. Can I get a meeting?
Moi: Sure, fuckface. Here are some times he has available: X on X, Y on Y, Z on Z.
Dumbshit: Thanks! I can make F on F.
Moi: Well, not what I offered, but here's the closest: X on X. Invite sent.
FF to today...
VP: Dumbshit didn't show for the call. Can you pls. rebook?
Moi: Hey dumbshit - VP said you were absent from the call YOU ASKED FOR. I can offer these new slots: X on X, Y on Y, Z on Z
Dumbshit: Oh! So sorry! I had diarrhea and was sick all night and today! ("food poisoning" but we all know that's a lie). I can do anything on X.
Moi: Cool that you didn't die, I guess. Sending over an invite for X on X.
Dumbshit: Thanks! Can you please reconfirm with me a few days before so I don't miss this meeting again?
Hell and the fuck no. Do I look like some fuckface that would ever consider working for your inept ass? Are you paying me a single red cent NOW? Get all the way the fuck out of here with that booshit. NOW!! GET THE FUCK OUT!