Possum In The Garage

Possums are highly resistant to rabies.

And guinea fowl are the only more effective animals at eating ticks, but they’re obnoxiously loud
I had a few guineas a few years back because I read where they were so good at decreasing the tick population. Had to get rid of them after a few months. So annoying.
 
You let it your garage.

I’ve hunted my entire life, but two animals I won’t kill are possums and any non venomous snake
Thanks for not killing snakes. My friends in Nashville all know I'll come any time of day or night to remove snakes. (will find pics and post)
 
Thanks for not killing snakes. My friends in Nashville all know I'll come any time of day or night to remove snakes. (will find pics and post)
I’ll kill copperheads and rattlers, but black snakes, rat snakes, king snakes, etc, the more the merrier
 
Seems like a bowl of anti-freeze would work here. But, the idea of shooting a gun in my garage and getting away with it does sound more fun.
 
Me removing a 6' rat snake. Most docile snake I ever handled. Refused to get pissed. Best part was I took him to a state park to release him and there just happened to be three school buses of kids leaving from a nature hike and I walked over and told the teachers I had a big snake and next thing I know, about 100 kids got to handle a huge, docile snake and ask a bunch of questions. Teachers said it was the highlight of the entire field trip for the kids.
 

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Me removing a 6' rat snake. Most docile snake I ever handled. Refused to get pissed. Best part was I took him to a state park to release him and there just happened to be three school buses of kids leaving from a nature hike and I walked over and told the teachers I had a big snake and next thing I know, about 100 kids got to handle a huge, docile snake and ask a bunch of questions. Teachers said it was the highlight of the entire field trip for the kids.

Then, you threw it into a wood chipper?!
 
From Walmart

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If that doesn't work

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How about:

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I really expected this to be some kind of sex act in SEC land.
 
I really expected this to be some kind of sex act in SEC land.

Nah. They like to get hit by cars and die so they're really a boring lay...I mean I've heard they are.
 
You let it your garage.

I’ve hunted my entire life, but two animals I won’t kill are possums and any non venomous snake
Let? Let? Let!

There was no letting. That motherfuckered ninja-ed his ass in there and was just waiting to make his move.
 
Opossums rule. Don't kill the fucker. Clean your shit and figure out how it's getting in.

They don't get rabies, they eat the fuck out of ticks...they are an awesome yard critter to have. North America's only marsupial.
 
Let? Let? Let!

There was no letting. That motherfuckered ninja-ed his ass in there and was just waiting to make his move.
The fuckers aren’t speed demons and play dead when threatened. It probably came through the doggie door because you’re too lazy to get up and let your dog in and out
 
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