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Gotta love plumbers. Call them at 7AM, they say I'll be there between 11AM and 1PM. Call them at 1:30, they say they're running behind, but you're next. Call them at 3PM...
 
What in the living hell!?!?
Yes, that is exactly what those poor turkeys endure every fall, just so half of their carcass can be thrown out after 3 weeks in the freezer -- or on Friday afternoon
 
Un fucking believable: Your turkey may have been sexually assaulted...

PETA crying fowl again over a decades-old video. But deep frying will get rid of all the evidence.
 
Mailin' it in today. Half-day of remote work tomorrow.

Water hose slipped off its clamp in the basement last night, woke up to a foot of water in the basement bathroom and no hot water. If this was tomorrow, the downstairs neighbors would have been gone away and wouldn't have noticed the flooding.
We helped the wife's grandson move into his new place yesterday.

His roommate just put in a washer and dryer. The drainage hose wasn't connected tight enough so when he did his first load of laundry, the same thing happened.

Thankfully the washer and dryer are in a utility closet outside the duplex so there was no flood inside the house.
 
PETA crying fowl again over a decades-old video. But deep frying will get rid of all the evidence.
I saw what you did there. Bastard.

Par for the course for PETA. Not enough controversy around this year's iteration of a meat-eating holiday? Just invent some or rehash one from 20 years ago.
 
I saw what you did there. Bastard.

Par for the course for PETA. Not enough controversy around this year's iteration of a meat-eating holiday? Just invent some or rehash one from 20 years ago.
Should those who assault members of PETA be called petaphiles?
 
Should those who assault members of PETA be called petaphiles?
Tired Oh No GIF by Law & Order
 
You two better shut the cluck up
There's always a point for everyone where they get annoyed enough to revert to acting like a screaming animal.

I call it the PETA Principle.
 
Yes, that is exactly what those poor turkeys endure every fall, just so half of their carcass can be thrown out after 3 weeks in the freezer -- or on Friday afternoon
I don't know who is sicker..............the guy banging the turkey or the one filming it.
 
I don't know who is sicker..............the guy banging the turkey or the one filming it.
Have to believe if that you are reincarnated as a turkey, you must have really fucked up your previous life.
 
'Stuffing" will be prepared outside of the turkey. For the cavity, I'll fill it with crushed garlic, ginger, rosemary and lemon peels.
 
Nervous Panic GIF by The Great Pottery Throw Down


Guise! Guise! I just got a note that I have to turn in my December 15th timecard on the 14th because of some booshit maintenance they are doing with payroll, or workday or their buttholes! I DON'T KNOW!! What if I don't get paid right before chrimmins?!



On second thought.... what if I don't get paid before chrimmins?
The Grinch Smiling GIF by The Good Films
 
Nervous Panic GIF by The Great Pottery Throw Down


Guise! Guise! I just got a note that I have to turn in my December 15th timecard on the 14th because of some booshit maintenance they are doing with payroll, or workday or their buttholes! I DON'T KNOW!! What if I don't get paid right before chrimmins?!



On second thought.... what if I don't get paid before chrimmins?
The Grinch Smiling GIF by The Good Films

Calm down. The check (or direct deposit) follows the time card by 1 week. You'll get paid either the 21st or 22nd. You are welcome.
 
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