Well, y’all are f***ed: Aliens are here

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The Pentagon has confirmed the authenticity of newly leaked video and images showing multiple UFO sightings by U.S. Navy personnel, as the government prepares to release a highly anticipated first-of-its-kind report on UFOs this summer.

An 18-second video shows what is described as three pyramid-shaped UFOs hovering over the warship USS Russell at night in July of 2019 off the San Diego coast. At one point, the pyramid-shaped crafts reportedly hovered 700 feet over the tail of the Russell.

This is the first video the public has seen from the July 2019 incident in which mysterious UFOs described as unmanned aerial vehicles reportedly harassed at least three U.S. warships during military exercises over multiple days — at one point matching the speed and bearing of one destroyer for 90 minutes while performing "brazen" maneuvers.

Months earlier, an FA-18 pilot reportedly used his cellphone to snap photos of three different unidentified aircrafts off the coast of Oceana in March including two UFOs dubbed the "Metalic Blimp" and "The Sphere."


So, the government cover-ups are crashing to a halt:

1 - Tom DeLonge wasn’t crazy after all when he revealed conspiracies about Jesus being an alien and breaking up Blink-182.

2 - Elements of the show, ‘X-Files’ may have been lifted from real ‘Men in Black’ episodes.

3 - Bitch was asking for it when she messed with AlaskaGay’s truck.

4 - With bases on land and under the oceans, a secret reptilian society may indeed be taking over. Looking at you Mitch McConnell and Nancy Pelosi.

5 - The spin-off movie of the 3-boobed chick from ‘Total Recall’ will finally be made and is premiering on Netflix next month.
 
Can't waste a good Space Force. Look forward to repeated increasing budget requests. MAD!!

I know

2/10 take to the PF
 
Can't waste a good Space Force. Look forward to repeated increasing budget requests. MAD!!

I know

2/10 take to the PF
Well....while we are here...I’m sure the conspiracies are coming how all this owning of UFOs is just cover for some sinister shit the government is working on.
 
Well....while we are here...I’m sure the conspiracies are coming how all this owning of UFOs is just cover for some sinister shit the government is working on.
JFK knew that, with Ted William's help, he could head the space program for centuries. Combined with Jackie's bitchiness, he took a permanent leave of absence
 
Call Will Smith up!!!
 
Except you're the fleshlight to them.
False. Reports of the incredible healing powers of my loads have gone intergalactic, and the aliens have come for some freshly squoze goodness to take back to their planet and save their queen, who is dying from space COVID.

Excited Shark Tank GIF by ABC Network
 
False. Reports of the incredible healing powers of my loads have gone intergalactic, and the aliens have come for some freshly squoze goodness to take back to their planet and save their queen, who is dying from space COVID.

Excited Shark Tank GIF by ABC Network
You should sell that to Netflix.
 
False. Reports of the incredible healing powers of my loads have gone intergalactic, and the aliens have come for some freshly squoze goodness to take back to their planet and save their queen, who is dying from space COVID.

Excited Shark Tank GIF by ABC Network
Yes, but the Japanese are positively giddy over the potential for alien purple tentacle monsters assaulting their women.
 
Yes, but the Japanese are positively giddy over the potential for alien purple tentacle monsters assaulting their women.
New delicacy in China.
 
They found no signs of intelligent life, so they left.
 
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