Under the Porch with the Guide Bear!

Peter Gozintite said:
Take about 30% off, stop cherry pickling my post, and either explain the whole guide bear thing, or be prepared for me to say I don't know what is going.
You've been insulted before, what I said was not an insult. I don't get it.
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Listen Petey, I will come clean about the Guide Bear in just a little bit but first I have huge and potentially devastating news about yesterday's Stage 4 results, which the Guide Bear clearly won.

The results are being challenged by two separate Tour teams, the German outfit, Team Bitches Britches and the Italian national team, Team Tight Pants.

With both teams crying foul that the Guide Bear had an unfair advantage at final sprint claiming Team Loaf of Bread Ministries planted a garbage truck within sight of the finish line giving the Guide Bear extra incentive, an investigation is currently underway.

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huskers1217 said:
4-20 Weed GIF
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Just stay in there.
 
Mental retardation bear thinks he's in the Tour de France. Derp
 
Handicappers said:
What kind of sick deranged ass clown pretends to be a circus clown bear?
da fuq is wrong with these insane scrabble tile mental retards?
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Mad because they stole your idea?
 
Peter Gozintite said:
stop cherry pickling my post
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You just got cherry pickled again!
Peter Gozintite said:
Take about 30% off,
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Are you suggesting that I'm a fat fuck? Sure, I chubbed up in my life of leisure but 30%? That would put me at 160 pounds! My ideal weight is about 195 - 200 pounds and I'm chubbin at 240 nowadays. I was up to a fat fuck 290 before I started going up and down the basement stairs about 18 months ago. No wonder my wheelchair kep breaking! HAHAHA!
 
Peter Gozintite said:
THEN GUIDE ME TO UNDERSTANDING !
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Okay Petey, here's the real story of the Guide Bear.

The term 'Guide Bear' is just a term of endearment for 'Service Animal'. And as a disabled Military Veteran, I take advantage of the many programs offered by the VA. And one of the VA's services is providing service animals to the many disabled veterans. Most of them choose a friendly pooch but I requested a bear for a service animal and my request was granted and I was issued a bear.

Now that part of the story is easy enough to understand but this next part, even I don't fully understand how it works!

It's the part where I can be myself, a human being and also be the Guide Bear and sometimes simultaneously!

And no, I'm no shape shifter or anything like that, there's no hocus pocus involved.

All I can say about that is, God works in mysterious ways!

Hey wait a minute, ain't that the same as hocus pocus!?!
 
PARKA!! said:
Okay Petey, here's the real story of the Guide Bear.

The term 'Guide Bear' is just a term of endearment for 'Service Animal'. And as a disabled Military Veteran, I take advantage of the many programs offered by the VA. And one of the VA's services is providing service animals to the many disabled veterans. Most of them choose a friendly pooch but I requested a bear for a service animal and my request was granted and I was issued a bear.

Now that part of the story is easy enough to understand but this next part, even I don't fully understand how it works!

It's the part where I can be myself, a human being and also be the Guide Bear and sometimes simultaneously!

And no, I'm no shape shifter or anything like that, there's no hocus pocus involved.

All I can say about that is, God works in mysterious ways!

Hey wait a minute, ain't that the same as hocus pocus!?!
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you are straight up mentally retarded. Is your fake bear retarded too?
 
PARKA!! said:
Okay Petey, here's the real story of the Guide Bear.

The term 'Guide Bear' is just a term of endearment for 'Service Animal'. And as a disabled Military Veteran, I take advantage of the many programs offered by the VA. And one of the VA's services is providing service animals to the many disabled veterans. Most of them choose a friendly pooch but I requested a bear for a service animal and my request was granted and I was issued a bear.

Now that part of the story is easy enough to understand but this next part, even I don't fully understand how it works!

It's the part where I can be myself, a human being and also be the Guide Bear and sometimes simultaneously!

And no, I'm no shape shifter or anything like that, there's no hocus pocus involved.

All I can say about that is, God works in mysterious ways!

Hey wait a minute, ain't that the same as hocus pocus!?!
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computers eureka GIF by South Park
 
TEAM LOAF CANCELED!

Yesterday's decision by the International Cycling Federation, (ICF) to disqualify Team Loaf of Bread Ministries from the remaining stages of the 2021 Tour de France and strip Guide Bear of his Stage 4 victory because of charges of cheating has turned the cycling world on its head.

The premier American bicycle racing team, Team Loaf vow to contest this heartbreaking decision.

Loaf of Bread Ministries spokesperson Sarah Sanders Huckabee held a press conference and is accusing the ICF of religious discrimination since the main charge against Team Loaf centers on the garbage truck conspicuously parked near finish line of Stage 4, citing that garbage is a part of the food process and food is revered by the Loaf of Bread Ministries. She also adamantly vows to get Team Loaf reinstated in the big race.
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PARKA!! said:
TEAM LOAF CANCELED!

Yesterday's decision by the International Cycling Federation, (ICF) to disqualify Team Loaf of Bread Ministries from the remaining stages of the 2021 Tour de France and strip Guide Bear of his Stage 4 victory because of charges of cheating has turned the cycling world on its head.

The premier American bicycle racing team, Team Loaf vow to contest this heartbreaking decision.

Loaf of Bread Ministries spokesperson Sarah Sanders Huckabee held a press conference and is accusing the ICF of religious discrimination since the main charge against Team Loaf centers on the garbage truck conspicuously parked near finish line of Stage 4, citing that garbage is a part of the food process and food is revered by the Loaf of Bread Ministries. She also adamantly vows to get Team Loaf reinstated in the big race.
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Garbage? I thought bears liked picnic baskets?
 
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