What’s the most pretentious thing you’ve ever heard?

Illustrious Potentate said:
Last time I played, I cleared 90 by like hole 4. I liked Willie Nelson’s answer when asked about the best part of owning a golf course:

“I get to decide what’s par. I parred that hole over there the other day. I think it’s a par 14”
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I think that's impossible, even for a blind person in a wheelchair.
 
Fish said:
I think that's impossible, even for a blind person in a wheelchair.
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I was like 15 the last time I played and I swing a golf club like I swing a baseball bat.
 
Fish said:
Well you're supposed to hit the ball while it's on the ground, not while someone throws it at you.
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I probably would have been better off tossing the ball in the air and hitting it with a baseball bat. I was pretty good at that. That’s how I used to play fetch with my dog when he wasn’t dropping the ball down a drain pipe and running down the hill to catch it on the other end.
 
This has to be up there:

"
Bought a new house and it has a small yard and we want to do something fun with it. We have a covered porch and patio but we are going to cover the patio in flagstone and extend it 14 feet into the yard.

We were going to put a small pool in but that was 48k which was ridiculous.

Almost pulled the trigger on an outdoor fireplace but I’m not sure how much it would be used for the money I would spend.

I’m making a pill to get suggestions.

Fire away."
 
Kburjr said:
I played a lot of rec slow pitch when I was younger. If I was playing a lot of golf, I could handle low pitches really well.
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I was always a better low ball hitter in baseball.
 
Fish said:
This has to be up there:

"
Bought a new house and it has a small yard and we want to do something fun with it. We have a covered porch and patio but we are going to cover the patio in flagstone and extend it 14 feet into the yard.

We were going to put a small pool in but that was 48k which was ridiculous.

Almost pulled the trigger on an outdoor fireplace but I’m not sure how much it would be used for the money I would spend.

I’m making a pill to get suggestions.

Fire away."
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You forgot...get vaccinated first you stupid cunts!
 
Fish said:
This has to be up there:

"
Bought a new house and it has a small yard and we want to do something fun with it. We have a covered porch and patio but we are going to cover the patio in flagstone and extend it 14 feet into the yard.

We were going to put a small pool in but that was 48k which was ridiculous.

Almost pulled the trigger on an outdoor fireplace but I’m not sure how much it would be used for the money I would spend.

I’m making a pill to get suggestions.

Fire away."
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"Scratches balls"
 
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