I hear you, man. I’m a ridiculous smoker too. I had many long quit runs in my late 30s but never was really able to be strong/smart enough. I’m getting into the upper 40s now and can feel it’s impact these days.
I’ve quit many things bad for me in life and never looked back. But, this one has been so fucking hard to get and stay clear from. My father quit when I was 11. He told me the other year he still has to fight it off at points....he is going on 35 years quit this year.
Hoping you can give it the old kick now and get more out of life (and more life) without it