Close calls with wildlife thread....

Illustrious Potentate said:
I’m going pheasant hunting in South Dakota in November. Land owner will pay us 100 bucks for every porcupine we kill. If I kill 15, I can pretty well get free meals and lodging
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So, you're really going porcupine hunting?



We used to have pheasants all over when I was a kid. Get excited now when you hear one. Fuckin coyotes...
 
Separation Lake, Ontario fishing trip in Summer 2011. The "resort" is pretty secluded. Have to take logging roads about 45-60 minutes outside the nearest town to a little outpost where you are then picked up via boat and take a 30 minute boat ride to the cabins. Central cabin has a small restaurant you can pay for additional food but most people just cook for themselves at their cabins.
On our drive to the outpost, Pops and I saw multiple black bears crossing the road. Second night in the cabin we are woken up at maybe 4 am by people yelling at one of the other cabins. Find out later they had slept with the windows open and were woken up by a black bear tearing the screen off. It ran off when they freaked out.
Third night, we (me, Pops, and two of my uncles) are woken up by, presumably, the same bear rummaging through the beer cooler on the front porch of our cabin. Yelling and what not scared him away... slowly, but he left without causing much damage.
Fourth or fifth night/morning we are woken up by shotgun blasts coming from the area of the central cabin. The bear had smelled the cook prepping breakfast and tried to climb through a window to get in the kitchen. Owner/Operator of the place had gotten up super early anticipating the bear coming back and smoked him. He and some of his employees loaded up the carcass on a boat and took it to a nearby island where they apparently regularly dumped carcasses.
 
Hahaha, once on a road trip around the west, well before the internet, we were headed to the badlands, but were behind schedule, and really had no set plans...had just been setting up a tent each nite, wherever we landed. Well we got in late af, like 1am, pitch dark, no moon, and had been driving all day. Ostensibly pulled off the road out into some clearing and set up tents.

At dawn, I get up to piss, and am midstream before I realized we were completely surrounded by a fuck ton of bison. Like 200 head. Some as close as 10 feet.

The slowest/fastest tent take down ever. :LOL:
 
Riding my motorcycle home from work one night, down a two lane hwy. There was no traffic, so I was slowly creeping the throttle up near 100 mph when a big ol' Iowa white tail buck came running up out of the ditch. I had about 150 ft before I would impact it as it crossed the road in front of me.
I hit the brakes, front and rear, but couldn't get it stopped. But I slowed it down just enough so the buck was able to pass by, close enough to my Goldwing that I could smell it.
 
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Had a big fucking rat come up my basement toilet.

Trapped it in the "office" with a 3 iron (good for nothing else anyway) and a cat litter bucket.

Trapped it, put the lid on upside down and dumped it out in my back yard.

Karma rules.
 
Lol I love the taste of pussy cat. And gator
 
Hank Kingsley said:
Had a big fucking rat come up my basement toilet.

Trapped it in the "office" with a 3 iron (good for nothing else anyway) and a cat litter bucket.

Trapped it, put the lid on upside down and dumped it out in my back yard.

Karma rules.
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shoulda put it in a room with Nimbus
 
I could write a dam book.

This summer was moving brush around on top of my property in Arkansas without gloves and in low top hiking shoes. Reach down to grab some stuff and this thing moved

timber rattler that lost his head

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Hank Kingsley said:
You see the thing about this one is, hit and got up and walked away.
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He didn’t get far. I chased after him in the woods and slit his throat. No way I’m letting a perfectly good bear rug get away like that.
 
moxie said:
Also, I don't recommend trying to engage peacocks. Another breed of assholes.
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One got into my screened in back porch. It spazzed out trying to get out and did some damage. They also scratched the shit out of my car fighting their reflection. They’re all over my neighborhood.
 
beardown07 said:
Prolly ten years or so ago, I took my single man pontoon down the river after work, mid-summer, by myself. (Put-in was only like 6 miles from my house.) Got on the water by 5:30. I pulled over right away cuz there was a spot I wanted to get out to fish. Fuck, I started slaying em'. All nice fish, and seemingly one right after another, and it just kept going. I couldn't tear myself away from it, but at some point snapped out of it, and realized I had been there for a while, and still had a long ways to go on the float. Looked at the time and it was pushing 8:00, and I still had at least 2.5 left in the float.:yikes: My wife was to pick me up at the takeout, but I had to call her and have here come get me at the highway(couple miles up river), as it was pitch black by then. Last 45 minutes of the float was pitch black. Had to listen for "whitewater" and go towards it. Anyway, one stretch, the river gets pretty small, maybe only 15-25 ft across, and this goddamn beaver kept coming right up next to me and slapping the water with his tail, like right fucking next to me. He did that prolly 6 times. The first few scared the bejeezus out of me, as I couldn't see shit, and it's obviously heavy bear country. Shortly after that stretch, the river widens back out, and splits off into a half a dozen channels, (Shallow enough to walk across), before they all dump back into one huge river. A huge herd of, presumably elk, stampeded across those channels, I would guess maybe 25 yards ahead of me? Sounded like an avalanche.

My wife was not impressed, to say the least.
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Would've liked this more if the beaver fucked yo shit up :D
 
Forgot about the time mama deer and her booboo were crossing a road in front of my 70+mph ass.


It was a cheap car and rolled really well. I had no blood or visible injuries except for the massive bruises that appeared later, but I swear I had a concussion and that's reason why I am the way that I am ;)

hashtag cte, yo!
 
Only thing I can think of is a black bear running across the trail in front of us.

I've been chased by cows when I was young, though, if that counts.
 
gobucks0409 said:
Only thing I can think of is a black bear running across the trail in front of us.

I've been chased by cows when I was young, though, if that counts.
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Did you roll around in molasses and fresh cut alfalfa or something?
 
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