Did I ever tell you about ....

dbldwn711

dbldwn711

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the time I burned my ball sack?

True story... I got drunk one night and mistakenly masturbated using medicated shampoo instead of lotion. After finishing I just fell asleep but woke up to find that I had burned my ball sack!

It wasn’t a total disaster because I met this hot little number in the ER and we’ve been banging ever since. She was so enamored with my package she just had to have it! Just hope her husband never finds out.
 
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Pics or it didn’t happen.
 
In high school, we used to hide our dip cans in our underwear (wore briefs at the time) so you couldn't see the outlines in our pockets. One day I'm walking down the hall and somehow my can of Copenhagen pops open and goes all over my balls. That shit started absorbing into my bloodstream through my ballsack pretty quickly and my balls were on fire.

Hell of a mess to clean up and that shit drove me nuts all day.
 
Wild Turkey said:
In high school, we used to hide our dip cans in our underwear (wore briefs at the time) so you couldn't see the outlines in our pockets. One day I'm walking down the hall and somehow my can of Copenhagen pops open and goes all over my balls. That shit started absorbing into my bloodstream through my ballsack pretty quickly and my balls were on fire.

Hell of a mess to clean up and that shit drove me nuts all day.
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Pun intended?
 
One of my best friends about burned the skin off his dick when he put a jar of peanut butter in the microwave too long. He works at the same company as me now at a different location, but I’ve got it to where his nickname is Peter Pan.
 
Wild Turkey said:
In high school, we used to hide our dip cans in our underwear (wore briefs at the time) so you couldn't see the outlines in our pockets. One day I'm walking down the hall and somehow my can of Copenhagen pops open and goes all over my balls. That shit started absorbing into my bloodstream through my ballsack pretty quickly and my balls were on fire.

Hell of a mess to clean up and that shit drove me nuts all day.
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oh shit he is still here.

he just hangs out in the B1G basketball thread and I still don't think we are allowed in there.
 
Illustrious Potentate said:
One of my best friends about burned the skin off his dick when he put a jar of peanut butter in the microwave too long.
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Why would you heat peanut butter up to begin with and then why would you then get it on your dick?

Surprised Donald Trump GIF


You hillbillys need new hobbies....
 
Wild Turkey said:
In high school, we used to hide our dip cans in our underwear (wore briefs at the time) so you couldn't see the outlines in our pockets. One day I'm walking down the hall and somehow my can of Copenhagen pops open and goes all over my balls. That shit started absorbing into my bloodstream through my ballsack pretty quickly and my balls were on fire.

Hell of a mess to clean up and that shit drove me nuts all day.
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Did you throw the dip away or still use it?
 
Bayou Tiger said:
Why would you heat peanut butter up to begin with and then why would you then get it on your dick?

Surprised Donald Trump GIF


You hillbillys need new hobbies....
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He was maybe 13 and his older brother was fucking with him and told him heated up peanut butter felt like the real thing. Personally, I just fucked goats, sheep and Shetland ponies before I finally got the real thing when I was 15
 
Illustrious Potentate said:
Personally, I just fucked goats, sheep and Shetland ponies before I finally got the real thing when I was 15
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That not only is against the law, but is a crime against nature itself.

In short, it's not something to brag about.

Animals can't consent, so you raped farm animals. That's fucking disgusting......
 
Bayou Tiger said:
That not only is against the law, but is a crime against nature itself.

In short, it's not something to brag about.

Animals can't consent so you raped farm animals. That's fucking disgusting......
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The goats and sheep didn’t like it too much, the Shetland pony voluntarily backed up every time.

And don’t you act all innocent either. Remember that time we were walking the fence line and that nanny goat had its head stuck in the fence? Remember, I fucked it, and when I got done, I asked if you wanted a piece of that and you said “yes, but I can’t get my head through the fence”?
 
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