Do you guys wash your balls?

My wife would kiss my balls before every round of golf for good luck. It made my putter rise to the occasion I tell ya.
 
This shit here is why I usually don't read messages boards during the off-season.
yeah....it'll put you off your lunch, that's for sure. So fucking lowbrow, with such little entertainment value.

Sometimes I question why I even bother. :tsk:
 
Ya know, now that you mention it, it does come off as very "Omar382-ish" ...hmmmm....:hmm:
boom smile GIF
 
I'm headed to the course around 4:30. I sitll don't think their ball washers are operational yet.
In the Houston area, just leave them out in the open air and they'll be soaking wet in no time.
 
I noticed they finally put the ball washers back out on the golf course the other day and man was I happy. It felt like forever since I washed my balls.

I grabbed a handful and stuffed them into the ball cleaner and just started pumping. My friend had to tell me to knock it off, I was embarrassing him and he was getting uncomfortable.

but man oh man are my balls shiny now.
 
I mean I tried doing other things to clean them too

I would rub them really hard and try to get the grime off, but my skin on my thumb would just get raw. I'd even spit on them to try to loosen up any dirt, dig in with my fingernail...it wasn't pretty. I went so far to just pop by balls in my mouth...but that's just gross. I don't know where my balls have been.

Back in the 90's my dad actually invented a ball washer that you could carry in your pocket. It was like the size of a lipstick tube and you twisted the bottom and a cloth came out. Wet the cloth, rub your balls on it, and your balls were clean! But the container was plastic and would break...might as well just have a wet towel for your ball washing needs.
 
I mean I tried doing other things to clean them too

I would rub them really hard and try to get the grime off, but my skin on my thumb would just get raw. I'd even spit on them to try to loosen up any dirt, dig in with my fingernail...it wasn't pretty. I went so far to just pop by balls in my mouth...but that's just gross. I don't know where my balls have been.

Back in the 90's my dad actually invented a ball washer that you could carry in your pocket. It was like the size of a lipstick tube and you twisted the bottom and a cloth came out. Wet the cloth, rub your balls on it, and your balls were clean! But the container was plastic and would break...might as well just have a wet towel for your ball washing needs.

spit on them? Kinky
 
I modified my Toilet Cat Washing invention to allow my balls to fit. Just one flush away from sparkling balls.
doesn't sound very mobile.
 
Ya know, now that you mention it, it does come off as very "Omar382-ish" ...hmmmm....:hmm:
Uhhhhh, ya think?

That's what my "rap battle" comment alluded to.
 
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