Dumbest member of your family that you know of

I had a cousin that has since gotten smarter, but at one time had his head so far up his ass.

He was into drugs, and started hanging out at strip clubs to sell. Then he started dating a stripper. I told him, strippers are for fun, not for getting serious with. Then found out she had a kid. STRIKE TWO! Then he called me one day asking if I had any spackle, to patch a hole in the wall, and when I went over there it was a wall, and door, and another wall. Oh, I see, now youre living with a stripper. STRIKE THREE!

I told him if he didnt get away from this bitch, he was going to end up in jail. Wasnt even a week later, he was in jail. Found out after, he had married the fucking whore, and they had rings tatooed on. I told him good luck and didnt talk to him for about a year.

6 or 7 years later, he is a journeyman iron worker, has a great woman, and 2 kids, and is actually doing great. putting a pool in, with the money saved from quitting drinking and smoking cigarettes 3 years ago. Pretty proud of the idiot.
 
My grandfather and his brothers did a lot of stupid hood rat type stuff, but I laugh about it all. I think I have written about it before but he grew up on a lot of land just a few miles from where I live now. He and his brothers used to steal cars in the 20's just for fun and then when they got tired of tearing around the pastures on them they would dig a hole and bury them on their family land. in the mid-80s the family sold all of that land and they built houses on them. We all would laugh when we would talk about what the construction workers grading the area thought when they kept digging up early model cars. :pound:

There also was a house built right in the middle of where their farms tank was at. I want to go up and talk to the owners of that house and ask exactly how much foundation trouble they have.
 
Rex Racer said:
My cousin Andy (Zeke) was bit of a knucklehead in high school and afterwards started hanging out with some losers that were always looking to steal something. One day in his early 20's he and his pal came across an unlocked car and opened the door to take the briefcase and some files on the front seat. Turns out it was an insurance adjusters car and the briefcase had book of settlement checks so he wrote a check out with himself as the payee and forged the adjusters name and headed to the bank. It worked!

They figured that they hit the lottery and proceeded to blow through the checks in the book, but the problem is that these two fucking dummies were writing the checks out to themselves because they knew they would need to show an ID to cash them :facepalm: duh!

Anyways they wrote themselves about 20 checks between the 2 of them with the total amount being over 50K in the next few weeks by the time the insurance company started getting the checks returned from the banks and catching on to the scam. Needless to say the investigation took about 5 minutes and those bozos found themselves charged with a whole bunch of felony offenses. Zeke agreed to testify against his much older pal and got off easy. He was sentenced to 25 years in the state prison while his buddy got 40. Don't know what happened to his friend, but Zeke was out in 6-7 years and wound up knocking up and marrying one of the ugliest women (complete with facial tics) you'll ever see in your life and somehow managed to raise a son that is pretty good kid. Andy the III is gotta be in his late twenties and is doing well in the Army.
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Lies
 
RP-29 said:
Did yer cousin get fired from Hot Topic?
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Rob's cousin
Trailer Park Boys Ricky GIF by NETFLIX
 
RP-29 said:
Did yer cousin get fired from Hot Topic?
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Probably. I try not to make eye contact with the vampires or ask too many questions.
 
Is it possible to be any dumber than to be an American who exudes blind devotion to politicians who actively and outwardly want to guide America into communism?

Ladies & gentlemen, that's about 50% of the current American population!
 
The entire Catholic side of my family is dumb as shit
 
huskers1217 said:
if you believe in Adam and Eve and we are all brothers and sisters.... then one person rises to the top of the list...

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I don't buy into the Adam and Eve deal, but every living person on Earth shares numerous common ancestors. Go back just 40 generations and the number is significantly higher than the number of humans to have ever existed.
 
RP-29 said:
Is it possible to be any dumber than to be an American who exudes blind devotion to politicians who actively and outwardly want to guide America into communism?

Ladies & gentlemen, that's about 50% of the current American population!
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It's actually both sides, in different ways. Take it to pf.
 
Illustrious Potentate said:
I don't buy into the Adam and Eve deal, but every living person on Earth shares numerous common ancestors. Go back just 40 generations and the number is significantly higher than the number of humans to have ever existed.
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Huh?
 
Illustrious Potentate said:
I never met the guy, he died when I was 2, but my grandpa’s uncle(who was the same age as my grandpa) burned down the Forsyth County courthouse in 1973.

He lived maybe half a mile from the courthouse and was well known by the police department

But he went back to the scene of the crime and stood front row watching them try to put out the fire while wearing shorts.

The sheriff, who probably already suspected him noticed the singed leg hairs. Dude ran, got caught and confessed and served several years in prison.

Other than that, I have some cousins who have fried their brain with meth
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But you think sticking your dick in another dude's ass wouldn't be gay for you...
 
I’ve got a cousin named Eddie and what you envision isn’t far off.
 
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