Friday the 24th

Guy Incognito said:
Rookie mistakes abound here, but the simplest question is why didn't you set the oven to the lowest temperature and put the fruits of your lovely wife's labor in there so they'd be warm while you pooped?
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I'd eat it cold or nuke it ever so slightly.

if he had a Ninja Foodi...
 
SlinkyRedfoot said:
I just bought Mrs. Redfoot a one-way ticket.

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Mrs. Redfoot:

K03_xk.gif
 
Guy Incognito said:
I mean, there's almost no way it can't happen exactly as drawn up. A baby crawls out onto the field, a kid able to avoid players his own size can't avoid a baby without getting hurt, and Bob lost his shit on the baby's parents.

I believe every word as much as the one where the soccer team scored 15 goals in a game entirely because of him coaching one practice differently, his Pop Warner team runs a pro offense, and the one where noise cancelling headphones let a woman get raped.
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All true stories except the last one which I can’t confirm because it didn’t happen to me, I just shared it. I guess I have an interesting life?
 
MTVike said:
I'm trying to picture how a player running parallel to the sideline can hurdle a very small person and not continue on a straight line.

Maybe Rob can explain it.
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I was on the opposite sideline as it happened. But to hear my kid explain it the baby came out of nowhere, crawling onto the field from the sideline (he was running up the sideline) he hurdled the baby as other kids are trying to flag him and he crashed out of bounds into some folding chairs. He landed on his elbow, and came off the field injured which is why I lost my shit.

Football players crash into the sidelines all the time. Just not hurdling babies.
 
RobBase (c) said:
I was on the opposite sideline as it happened. But to hear my kid explain it the baby came out of nowhere, crawling onto the field from the sideline (he was running up the sideline) he hurdled the baby as other kids are trying to flag him and he crashed out of bounds into some folding chairs. He landed on his elbow, and came off the field injured which is why I lost my shit.

Football players crash into the sidelines all the time. Just not hurdling babies.
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So, he crashed on sidelines, where there were folding chairs?

Or, he somehow veered out of bounds while running in a straight line?
 
MTVike said:
So, he crashed on sidelines, where there were folding chairs?

Or, he somehow veered out of bounds while running in a straight line?
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He was airborne when he went out of bounds, hurdling the baby.
 
Turning into a Buttons and Mindy episode.

If you don't know what that is, look it up.
 
MTVike said:
So, he crashed on sidelines, where there were folding chairs?

Or, he somehow veered out of bounds while running in a straight line?
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Most youth don't run in a straight line. When they hurdle, they lose their balance coming back down and usually go veering left or right. Especially in pads. Just from my experiences before. I also have mentioned how I've had to get my littles from running on the field at youth games and even last night I was sitting 2ft from the playing field and basically had the kid brush me and somehow score. I can't verify his claim as I wasn't there but I'll take him for his word from experiences.
 
basement bias said:
Most youth don't run in a straight line. When they hurdle, they lose their balance coming back down and usually go veering left or right. Especially in pads. Just from my experiences before. I also have mentioned how I've had to get my littles from running on the field at youth games and even last night I was sitting 2ft from the playing field and basically had the kid brush me and somehow score. I can't verify his claim as I wasn't there but I'll take him for his word from experiences.
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It's the coaching.

"Run down the field like an alligator is chasing you!!"

Or maybe a gay bear.
 
Finally set up my new router that I bought about 3 months ago for camping. Hooked to my visible phone.

Able to post on here anyway, not real fast though.
 
basement bias said:
Most youth don't run in a straight line. When they hurdle, they lose their balance coming back down and usually go veering left or right. Especially in pads. Just from my experiences before. I also have mentioned how I've had to get my littles from running on the field at youth games and even last night I was sitting 2ft from the playing field and basically had the kid brush me and somehow score. I can't verify his claim as I wasn't there but I'll take him for his word from experiences.
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I don’t understand the reason to question it in the first place. Apparently the board thinks I’m a pathological liar.
 
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