I'm drunker'n a football bat

Hey everybody, guess what I'm drinking?!?!
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What would you be more embarrassed standing in line for? Tampons or a six of Zima?
Oh, Zima for sure. With Tampons, at least the possibility exists that you're gonna soak them in Bacardi 151 and stuff them up your ass.
 
I went on a ski trip with a bunch of buddies last winter and there was a text thread we were all comunicating on. One guy said he was stopping at the store the day before the trip and asked if anyone needed anything. Another guy asked for a 12 pack of White Claws. I couldn't believe it. I asked if he was bringing his wife on the trip.
 
I went on a ski trip with a bunch of buddies last winter and there was a text thread we were all comunicating on. One guy said he was stopping at the store the day before the trip and asked if anyone needed anything. Another guy asked for a 12 pack of White Claws. I couldn't believe it. I asked if he was bringing his wife on the trip.
You think you could drink a 12-pack of White Claws and keep them down?
 
You think you could drink a 12-pack of White Claws and keep them down?
No, the shame would get to me.

There were a few left over Claws in my cooler after the ski trip and Mrs Redfoot tried one and said there's no way she'd drink that shit.
 
No, the shame would get to me.

There were a few left over Claws in my cooler after the ski trip and Mrs Redfoot tried one and said there's no way she'd drink that shit.
Usually when a woman tries a drink and tells me how good it is, I try it, it's full of bubbles and sugar (read: hangover) and I try to decide whether to swallow it or run to the sink.
 
Went to a bar with my brother once, I was delighted to find Guinness on tap, hell yeah.

Brother sitting next trys to sound laid back and orders a Zima.....
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And I'm like......
Embarrassed The Office GIF by Justin
 

It's a definite comparison to mad dog.

I was 20 years old the last time I got messed up on that stuff. There is puking and there is puking outdated grape juice. I was working at a grocery store when I got messed up on that stuff and the rest of my time there the juice aisle made me nauseous.

That stuff is awful. If that's what you can afford it is what it is, but stick to natty and experience normal hang overs in the morning.
 
It's a definite comparison to mad dog.

I was 20 years old the last time I got messed up on that stuff. There is puking and there is puking outdated grape juice. I was working at a grocery store when I got messed up on that stuff and the rest of my time there the juice aisle made me nauseous.

That stuff is awful. If that's what you can afford it is what it is, but stick to natty and experience normal hang overs in the morning.
The Mad Dog hangover can lay you up for 4 days, 5 til you're back, 7 days to full recovery.

Can you even imagine drinking that shit all day every day, never even eating. Pitiful!
 
Usually when a woman tries a drink and tells me how good it is, I try it, it's full of bubbles and sugar (read: hangover) and I try to decide whether to swallow it or run to the sink.
The fuck kind of women are you hanging out with?

Admittedly, my man is annoyed I hate coffee because it means I like very few porters and stouts, but give me a good malty beer any day of the week over some sugary bullshit. So pleased it's almost September and Oktoberfests will be appearing very soon :yes:
 
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