Michigan QB Jack Tuttle Retires...

duckboy33 said:
I don’t know how they do it in South Korea but in America you can’t score better than 100%
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I really don't know where you get your information from?

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Intelligence quotient - Wikipedia
 
duckboy33 said:
Albert Einstein was a great American born scientist but nobody can get 160% of the questions correct. That’s not how this works Lord Voldemort (respectfully of course)
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So, if you got every answer correct on an IQ test … what is your IQ?
 
Sgt Brutus said:
He's trolling you Voldemort
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Yeah, I know. I actually did a research paper (40+ years ago) on IQ's and their irrelevance. One of the most intelligent people in the 20th Century (Albert Einstein) only had an IQ of 160. It is the ability to accomplish that defines intelligence.

For the first time in my life, I bet on ohio state. I will not watch the game, I can not bring myself to openly root for them.
 
michaeljordan_fan said:
Nonsense. Trolls live under bridges. @duckboy33 lives in a Springfield penthouse.
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I wouldn't say I live in a penthouse but obviously I do well for myself, as you would expect anyone making OVER 24 dollars an hour. The location is IDEAL though. Tomorrow night, after knocking back a few Coors Lights and 3 shots of fireball, I will be heading to the Springfield HS football game with my letterman jacket and class ring. It's senior night for the millers as they take on Roseburg so things could get emotional. I usually end up crying at senior days. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was starting on the kickoff team for the Millers. After the game concludes, I will hang around the concession stand. If there are any leftover hot dogs, they will give to me and my buddy Kyle because I'm practically Millers football royalty. We'll put all the fixings on them (ketchup and mustard) and have our dinner watching them turn the page on another chapter of Springfield High School Football.

On Saturday, I'll be headed to B-Dubs to watch the game in my 2016 leased Toyota Corolla blasting Nickeback. Anne will be bartending. When I asked her on a date, she laughed and said no. I'm pretty sure she's not into men because nothing else really makes sense to me. But either way, I'll enjoy the view while the Ducks are kicking some wolverine ass. Saturday night? You know it's time to hit The Nile and see Destiny.
 
duckboy33 said:
I wouldn't say I live in a penthouse but obviously I do well for myself, as you would expect anyone making OVER 24 dollars an hour. The location is IDEAL though. Tomorrow night, after knocking back a few Coors Lights and 3 shots of fireball, I will be heading to the Springfield HS football game with my letterman jacket and class ring. It's senior night for the millers as they take on Roseburg so things could get emotional. I usually end up crying at senior days. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was starting on the kickoff team for the Millers. After the game concludes, I will hang around the concession stand. If there are any leftover hot dogs, they will give to me and my buddy Kyle because I'm practically Millers football royalty. We'll put all the fixings on them (ketchup and mustard) and have our dinner watching them turn the page on another chapter of Springfield High School Football.

On Saturday, I'll be headed to B-Dubs to watch the game in my 2016 leased Toyota Corolla blasting Nickeback. Anne will be bartending. When I asked her on a date, she laughed and said no. I'm pretty sure she's not into men because nothing else really makes sense to me. But either way, I'll enjoy the view while the Ducks are kicking some wolverine ass. Saturday night? You know it's time to hit The Nile and see Destiny.
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Update: My weekend included some ups and downs.

Friday afternoon, after getting off work, Kyle and I decided to go HARD before the Millers last home game. We were blasting some of the best music (Nickelback, Creed, Mac Miller, Morgan Wallen, etc.) and both swiping left and right on various baddies on Tinder. I get about 2 or 3 matches a week since I signed up on Tinder premium. After a 3 Coors light and 2 shots of Fireball, I started to swipe right more and more, you know how it is. Eventually I matched with a woman named Mariah. It was like a match made in heaven. She said she was looking intelligent, successful, attractive men who are over 6 feet tall. I'm obviously most of those things so I just lied about my height and she agreed to meet Kyle and I at the Springfield game. Kyle was gonna take one for the team and pretend to be interested in her friend.

So I head to the game wearing my letterman jacket and wearing my big class ring. I tried to go on the field to hype up the. boys but Coach Frank told me to "Get the fuck off the field". I did because I respect where he's coming from. Seeing a celebrity like me on the field would make the guys lose their focus and this was a MUST WIN game. So we waited by the game gate and eventually met Mariah and her friend. I start telling them about me. My IQ, the time I made honor role in HS, my ability to bench press 150 pounds MULTIPLE times, my job where I make OVER 24 dollars an hour, my leased 2016 Toyota Corolla, and my sweet apartment in the hottest part of downtown Springfield. But nothing impressed them more than when I mentioned that I played football for Springfield High back in the day. That's when she gave me the "fuck me" eyes. And when I told her that I even started on special teams my senior year, I thought she was going to strip down right there.

Unfortunately, it wasn't all good news. Senior night always has me more emotional than the other games. Last year I cried for 45 minutes after the game, thinking about all the good times I had and how the seniors weren't going to get another chance. But this one got me. It was a such a hard fought game for the Millers but they ended up losing 28-14 to the Roseburg Indians. I was inconsolable. Balling. I was breathing heavy and my face was on the ground. After about 45 minutes, I picked up my head and Mariah and her friend were gone. Kyle must have decided we could do better and sent them on their way. No big deal but then, things got worse. Springfield High had sold out of their hotdogs so I wouldn't be getting any free dogs (or fixings) from them. I went back to bed a loser, drunk, hungry and horny.

But then Saturday hit. I woke up and had the breakfast of champions (CoorsLight and biscuits and gravy from Dari Mart). Then Kyle and I headed off to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the #1 ranked team in the country play the defending national champions. It was an epic performance as heisman favorite Dillon Gabriel tore up arguably the best defense in America in route to a 38-17 win. I did find it a little odd that Anne was flirting with another customer during the game. She had turned me down a few months ago and I figured it was because she was a lesbian. I felt like I had to tell this guy about it, it just wasn't right the way she was leading him on. Turns out that guy is her boyfriend. At that point, I really felt bad for him. She was obviously only dating this guy so she could save face to her parents. It was a sad situation so I bought him a shot of fireball and got out of there.

Then I ended my night at the hottest club in Eugene, the Nile (IYKYK). Destiny was there and immediately came over to greet me, a welcome that I obviously have earned with my VIP status. After a 2 more coors light and a shot of fireball, Destiny and I decided to go somewhere a little more private (the VIP room). Destiny was telling me all about how much she missed me and how she wishes she could spend the entire night with me in the VIP room. After a couple of minutes of dancing on my lap, I had the best moment of my night, if you know what I mean. Destiny was impressed. She said that almost never happens to guys at the club with her. I just told her "you should know by now baby, I'm not most guys". She laughed and looked at me with lust and admiration. Kyle and I left the club and went home after another successful night of being alpha men.
 
duckboy33 said:
Update: My weekend included some ups and downs.

Friday afternoon, after getting off work, Kyle and I decided to go HARD before the Millers last home game. We were blasting some of the best music (Nickelback, Creed, Mac Miller, Morgan Wallen, etc.) and both swiping left and right on various baddies on Tinder. I get about 2 or 3 matches a week since I signed up on Tinder premium. After a 3 Coors light and 2 shots of Fireball, I started to swipe right more and more, you know how it is. Eventually I matched with a woman named Mariah. It was like a match made in heaven. She said she was looking intelligent, successful, attractive men who are over 6 feet tall. I'm obviously most of those things so I just lied about my height and she agreed to meet Kyle and I at the Springfield game. Kyle was gonna take one for the team and pretend to be interested in her friend.

So I head to the game wearing my letterman jacket and wearing my big class ring. I tried to go on the field to hype up the. boys but Coach Frank told me to "Get the fuck off the field". I did because I respect where he's coming from. Seeing a celebrity like me on the field would make the guys lose their focus and this was a MUST WIN game. So we waited by the game gate and eventually met Mariah and her friend. I start telling them about me. My IQ, the time I made honor role in HS, my ability to bench press 150 pounds MULTIPLE times, my job where I make OVER 24 dollars an hour, my leased 2016 Toyota Corolla, and my sweet apartment in the hottest part of downtown Springfield. But nothing impressed them more than when I mentioned that I played football for Springfield High back in the day. That's when she gave me the "fuck me" eyes. And when I told her that I even started on special teams my senior year, I thought she was going to strip down right there.

Unfortunately, it wasn't all good news. Senior night always has me more emotional than the other games. Last year I cried for 45 minutes after the game, thinking about all the good times I had and how the seniors weren't going to get another chance. But this one got me. It was a such a hard fought game for the Millers but they ended up losing 28-14 to the Roseburg Indians. I was inconsolable. Balling. I was breathing heavy and my face was on the ground. After about 45 minutes, I picked up my head and Mariah and her friend were gone. Kyle must have decided we could do better and sent them on their way. No big deal but then, things got worse. Springfield High had sold out of their hotdogs so I wouldn't be getting any free dogs (or fixings) from them. I went back to bed a loser, drunk, hungry and horny.

But then Saturday hit. I woke up and had the breakfast of champions (CoorsLight and biscuits and gravy from Dari Mart). Then Kyle and I headed off to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the #1 ranked team in the country play the defending national champions. It was an epic performance as heisman favorite Dillon Gabriel tore up arguably the best defense in America in route to a 38-17 win. I did find it a little odd that Anne was flirting with another customer during the game. She had turned me down a few months ago and I figured it was because she was a lesbian. I felt like I had to tell this guy about it, it just wasn't right the way she was leading him on. Turns out that guy is her boyfriend. At that point, I really felt bad for him. She was obviously only dating this guy so she could save face to her parents. It was a sad situation so I bought him a shot of fireball and got out of there.

Then I ended my night at the hottest club in Eugene, the Nile (IYKYK). Destiny was there and immediately came over to greet me, a welcome that I obviously have earned with my VIP status. After a 2 more coors light and a shot of fireball, Destiny and I decided to go somewhere a little more private (the VIP room). Destiny was telling me all about how much she missed me and how she wishes she could spend the entire night with me in the VIP room. After a couple of minutes of dancing on my lap, I had the best moment of my night, if you know what I mean. Destiny was impressed. She said that almost never happens to guys at the club with her. I just told her "you should know by now baby, I'm not most guys". She laughed and looked at me with lust and admiration. Kyle and I left the club and went home after another successful night of being alpha men.
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Absolutely nobody is reading this whole wall of text.
 
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