Phrases never uttered in MLB

[navamind]

"The Minnesota Twins have eliminated the New York Yankees from the playoffs!"

 

[HammerDown]

"Maddux just can't seem to locate today, Skip"

 

[rsw626]

"The umps never give Maddux a wide enough strike zone"

 

[HammerDown]

"If there are two things that can't lure Tony LaRussa out of retirement, it's money and booze."

 

[rsw626]

"Those Dodger fans sure are well behaved and polite"

 

[HammerDown]

"I'm going to Spring Training this year in hopes of getting "Cowboy" Joe West's latest CD before it's released."

 

[rsw626]

"The Mets always make such great financial decisions"

 

[Illustrious Potentate]

I watch the game for the umpires

 

[rsw626]

"It's amazing how Yadier Molina never loses his cool"

 

[HammerDown]

"David Wright earned every cent of that contract"

 

[HammerDown]

"I was hoping Yadier would kick Brandon Phillips' ass"

 

[navamind]

"another great defensive play by Adam Dunn"

 

[navamind]

"Coors Field is such a pitcher's park"

 

[HammerDown]

"I mean you can take one look at him and see why women are so attracted to Jetes"

 

[rsw626]

"Red Sox fans love minorities"

 

[HammerDown]

"I wouldn't hesitate a second to take my child to Fenway"

 

[rsw626]

"I wish the Rays would stop outspending everybody"

 

[HammerDown]

"I was shocked by how affordable a game at Yankee is these days"

 

[rsw626]

"Wrigley Field is so clean and lovely"

 

[HammerDown]

"Most passionate baseball fans? Gotta be Rockies fans."