Thursday morning from the throne

ill said:
That was a vacuum, not a bidet
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well, i guess i would prefer my asshole be sucked clean, rather than to have a little jet stream of water hosing my undercarriage and making a mess.

by the way, if you don't mind, can i borrow your dyson?
 
ojb81 said:
well, i guess i would prefer my asshole be sucked clean, rather than to have a little jet stream of water hosing my undercarriage and making a mess.

by the way, if you don't mind, can i borrow your dyson?
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You would prefer your asshole be sucked clean?
 
two toilet themed dailies in a week. Must have been a rough weekend :suds:
 
fordman84 said:
two toilet themed dailies in a week. Must have been a rough weekend :beer2:
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well the first was proposed by you

this one was just started while I was pooping
 
Sorry in advance for TL/DR but
Had excitement out here last night, 2 cop cars and everything. I heard about some of this after the fact since I was laying in bed watching the cards disappoint me.
Wife and grand daughter were carrying in groceries. Gunner went out the front door by them, was peeing on the bushes. Wife says she hears someone yell from the road "Your dog attacked me!" No barks, no growls, nothing. Gunner had walked back by here happy as ever. It's pitch dark and she was startled because she didn't know anyone was around.

She walks out there, no one there. I hear the truck leave about then and got to see what's going on. so she drove down the road to the people and asked if they were ok. They had a doberman and a collie walking down the road in the dark, no light. Guy says "Your fucking dog nipped at me!!" Did he hurt you or your dog?
Fuck you I'm calling 911!! he says.
Grand daughter says Well where did he bite you. Guy says You suck my fucking dick, I'm calling 911!! His woman says You are supposed to have your dog on a leash!!! What's your name!! Wife says you know where I live and comes back home. Grand daughter's friend has all this on video lol.

So I walk out to the road and look, no one around. Wife is telling me this story, everyone's madder than hell, and the cops pull up. 2 cars worth. We talk. Cop says the guy couldn't show him a bite mark or anything. I tell the deputies the guy is a liar and he should be cautioned about milling around my front yard in the dark. I also told them about the language used and that I really didn't appreciate it being used towards the women and that it was recorded and that he should caution the asshole about this.

I then said "These city people move to the country, deputy laughs and says Well that's exactly what we have here, and then I finish and say You guys know how much theft we have out here from meth heads and stuff, these idiots don't need to be just standing out here in the dark unannounced.

Deputies say they're going to go back and tell them to stay away from us, said they'd already told them to walk their dogs the other direction away from our place. I tell my wife in a nice way to quit bending the deputy's ears and let them leave, and they left.

I really need to find out who these assholes are.
 
Fish said:
Sorry in advance for TL/DR but
Had excitement out here last night, 2 cop cars and everything. I heard about some of this after the fact since I was laying in bed watching the cards disappoint me.
Wife and grand daughter were carrying in groceries. Gunner went out the front door by them, was peeing on the bushes. Wife says she hears someone yell from the road "Your dog attacked me!" No barks, no growls, nothing. Gunner had walked back by here happy as ever. It's pitch dark and she was startled because she didn't know anyone was around.

She walks out there, no one there. I hear the truck leave about then and got to see what's going on. so she drove down the road to the people and asked if they were ok. They had a doberman and a collie walking down the road in the dark, no light. Guy says "Your fucking dog nipped at me!!" Did he hurt you or your dog?
Fuck you I'm calling 911!! he says.
Grand daughter says Well where did he bite you. Guy says You suck my fucking dick, I'm calling 911!! His woman says You are supposed to have your dog on a leash!!! What's your name!! Wife says you know where I live and comes back home. Grand daughter's friend has all this on video lol.

So I walk out to the road and look, no one around. Wife is telling me this story, everyone's madder than hell, and the cops pull up. 2 cars worth. We talk. Cop says the guy couldn't show him a bite mark or anything. I tell the deputies the guy is a liar and he should be cautioned about milling around my front yard in the dark. I also told them about the language used and that I really didn't appreciate it being used towards the women and that it was recorded and that he should caution the asshole about this.

I then said "These city people move to the country, deputy laughs and says Well that's exactly what we have here, and then I finish and say You guys know how much theft we have out here from meth heads and stuff, these idiots don't need to be just standing out here in the dark unannounced.

Deputies say they're going to go back and tell them to stay away from us, said they'd already told them to walk their dogs the other direction away from our place. I tell my wife in a nice way to quit bending the deputy's ears and let them leave, and they left.

I really need to find out who these assholes are.
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WKd0cBo124l6wJZbG2Nv4zH8vhOjJ7wAEtiXiWgA6Xo.png
 
had it been a few inches longer, it woulda been an upper decker beached log
 
Had dinner at Ditka's last night, and someone (not in our party) choked on their steak. Waiter had to go over and assist him. Ambulance came. He was fine in the end, though.
 
gobucks0409 said:
Had dinner at Ditka's last night, and someone (not in our party) choked on their steak. Waiter had to go over and assist him. Ambulance came. He was fine in the end, though.
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Cardinals choke job was terminal.
 
Fish said:
Sorry in advance for TL/DR but
Had excitement out here last night, 2 cop cars and everything. I heard about some of this after the fact since I was laying in bed watching the cards disappoint me.
Wife and grand daughter were carrying in groceries. Gunner went out the front door by them, was peeing on the bushes. Wife says she hears someone yell from the road "Your dog attacked me!" No barks, no growls, nothing. Gunner had walked back by here happy as ever. It's pitch dark and she was startled because she didn't know anyone was around.

She walks out there, no one there. I hear the truck leave about then and got to see what's going on. so she drove down the road to the people and asked if they were ok. They had a doberman and a collie walking down the road in the dark, no light. Guy says "Your fucking dog nipped at me!!" Did he hurt you or your dog?
Fuck you I'm calling 911!! he says.
Grand daughter says Well where did he bite you. Guy says You suck my fucking dick, I'm calling 911!! His woman says You are supposed to have your dog on a leash!!! What's your name!! Wife says you know where I live and comes back home. Grand daughter's friend has all this on video lol.

So I walk out to the road and look, no one around. Wife is telling me this story, everyone's madder than hell, and the cops pull up. 2 cars worth. We talk. Cop says the guy couldn't show him a bite mark or anything. I tell the deputies the guy is a liar and he should be cautioned about milling around my front yard in the dark. I also told them about the language used and that I really didn't appreciate it being used towards the women and that it was recorded and that he should caution the asshole about this.

I then said "These city people move to the country, deputy laughs and says Well that's exactly what we have here, and then I finish and say You guys know how much theft we have out here from meth heads and stuff, these idiots don't need to be just standing out here in the dark unannounced.

Deputies say they're going to go back and tell them to stay away from us, said they'd already told them to walk their dogs the other direction away from our place. I tell my wife in a nice way to quit bending the deputy's ears and let them leave, and they left.

I really need to find out who these assholes are.
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What kind of softie calls the police on a dog who barely scraped him if at all
 
Kburjr said:
One and done
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Make it 4 teams or 6. So dumb. The Dodgers finished 16 games ahead of the Cards. Idiotic one game could end their season against a team with that differential.
 
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