Ever heard the song? Let me be your guide.
I'll color code the bullshit.
Green is
meh,
Yellow is
wait a minute, and
Red is
get the fuck out. I'll also
paraphrase and embellish throughout.
Almost heaven, West Virginia...almost, eh?
Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River...ok, y'all name shit, who doesn't?
Life is old there, older than the trees...not unless you're a goddamn shark or protozoa
Younger than the mountains, growin' like a breeze...I'm not even sure what to make of this? It's a fart, he's talking about an air biscuit isn't he? From all the beans I bet.
Country roads, take me home...so you hitchhike? You blow to go?
To the place I belong...if you're singing this homo shit yeah you belong there
West Virginia, mountain mama...y'all out in the woods fucking the trees or critters or what?
Take me home, country roads
All my memories gather 'round her
Miner's lady, stranger to blue water...codeword for grubby-fingered smelly ass ho bag
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky...yay pollution and black lung!
Misty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eye...there isn't anything "misty" about 'shine you faggots
Country roads, take me home blah blah blah I'll save you the rest of this doofus tripe
That's the gayest shit I ever heard and John Denver took multiples in his turd cutter while wearing Nazi bdsm attire.
Fuck you. Fuck your dirty shithole state. Fuck your imploding gene pools. Fuck a point spread just keep stomping until the gurgling stops.
