tOfficial Night Shift Thread v59 - Now with less Reluctant Leaders

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moxie said:
No wonder your wife left you.





:heh:
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I don’t care who left who, but thank god they did.

Baby Jesus doesn’t care about the kind of Christmas tree you have. And if a kid wants to start bitching about the tree then they can buy their own presents too.
 
Skerpokes said:
$700! I haven’t put up a tree in at least 4 years. Have one that my uncle made me out of wood by hand for a Christmas present several years ago.

The presents still manage to find their way under it and I save money on a tree every year.
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I don't find that to be all that unreasonable.
 
Skerpokes said:
I also haven’t spent a Christmas with my daughter because of that crazy bitch in 3 years. So forgive me for not giving a shit about how nice my tree is.
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If you lived nearby, you'd be welcome to share Christmas dinner with me, and maybe.... just maybe... you'd find a present under the tree with your name on it... (that's actually what my parents always did, if they had someone they new of that had nowhere to be - and my mom would stress about making sure they had a present to open so they didn't feel left out. Was kinda cute, actually...)

Heart Volunteer GIF
 
lulz... the thought of my mom running out to by a gift for someone as crusty as @Skerpokes

:heh:
 
Skerpokes said:
I also haven’t spent a Christmas with my daughter because of that crazy bitch in 3 years. So forgive me for not giving a shit about how nice my tree is.
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well, that's just sad. Why don't you push her down a well and be done with it. Haven't you seen Silence of the Lambs? You just have to chuck some food, water and lotion down there every so often. She'll learn.

Also, why can't you get her thrown in jail after she stole from you?
 
Win TWINS!!! said:
If you lived nearby, you'd be welcome to share Christmas dinner with me, and maybe.... just maybe... you'd find a present under the tree with your name on it... (that's actually what my parents always did, if they had someone they new of that had nowhere to be - and my mom would stress about making sure they had a present to open so they didn't feel left out. Was kinda cute, actually...)

Heart Volunteer GIF
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I’ve spent the past few Christmases with family and that’s all I need. Honestly the worst part is watching everybody else’s kids open presents. And then carry home the presents that were for my daughter.

But thanks for the offer.
 
moxie said:
well, that's just sad. Why don't you push her down a well and be done with it. Haven't you seen Silence of the Lambs? You just have to chuck some food, water and lotion down there every so often. She'll learn.

Also, why can't you get her thrown in jail after she stole from you?
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I wouldn’t waste money on food for her even if I was only chucking it down the bottom of a well for her.
 
Skerpokes said:
I’ve spent the past few Christmases with family and that’s all I need. Honestly the worst part is watching everybody else’s kids open presents. And then carry home the presents that were for my daughter.

But thanks for the offer.
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I would kill a bitch if I was kept from seeing my daughters....
 
Win TWINS!!! said:
If you lived nearby, you'd be welcome to share Christmas dinner with me, and maybe.... just maybe... you'd find a present under the tree with your name on it... (that's actually what my parents always did, if they had someone they new of that had nowhere to be - and my mom would stress about making sure they had a present to open so they didn't feel left out. Was kinda cute, actually...)

Heart Volunteer GIF
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No offense, but you're a poor substitute for this man's daughter
 
Dole ver 2.0 said:
Uh, Moxie, wives are over expensive and over-rated and its their own damn fault.

Men are starting to realize that marriage is a bad deal for men.
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Pretty sure marriage is dumb in general. Though, I've been thinking about getting a husband so I have someone to pump my gas (I seriously hate it and the pumps never work right for me... I don't know what I'm doing wrong that the little lever doesn't stay stuck - It ALWAYS pops off and I have to stand there and hold down the handle LIKE A FUCKING PEASANT!!), take out the trash, pick up the mail and give me an allowance that doesn't upset me. I'd gladly repay the kindness tenfold :eyebrows:
 
moxie said:
Pretty sure marriage is dumb in general. Though, I've been thinking about getting a husband so I have someone to pump my gas (I seriously hate it and the pumps never work right for me... I don't know what I'm doing wrong that the little lever doesn't stay stuck - It ALWAYS pops off and I have to stand there and hold down the handle LIKE A FUCKING PEASANT!!), take out the trash, pick up the mail and give me an allowance that doesn't upset me. I'd gladly repay the kindness tenfold :eyebrows:
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How does $50 a week sound?
 
moxie said:
Pretty sure marriage is dumb in general. Though, I've been thinking about getting a husband so I have someone to pump my gas (I seriously hate it and the pumps never work right for me... I don't know what I'm doing wrong that the little lever doesn't stay stuck - It ALWAYS pops off and I have to stand there and hold down the handle LIKE A FUCKING PEASANT!!), take out the trash, pick up the mail and give me an allowance that doesn't upset me. I'd gladly repay the kindness tenfold :eyebrows:
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😂🤣
 
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