Best Santa Snack

Yeah, we usually just sat out cookies and milk.

I was usually pretty shitfaced after assembling toys and getting everything ready that I poured the milk drown in the drain and ate the cookies like I’ve never had anything to eat before
 
We put them out because my daughter thinks we need to "feed the reindeer".

Ok, that's adorable!

Last year Santa smoked too much weed putting together presents and accidentally left his roaches on the kitchen table next to the cookies. 😬

And that's the year the kids learned even Santa smokes a spliff now and again.
 
Last year Santa smoked too much weed putting together presents and accidentally left his roaches on the kitchen table next to the cookies. 😬
South Park Weed GIF by Myles Hi
 
Ok, that's adorable!
We would always leave cookie crumbs and a little bit of milk out. Once the carrot thing started, my wife decided that I also needed to bite off most of the carrot and leave a little nub of a carrot. I usually spit that out because carrots and cookies don't taste great together.
 
If Santa would rather have peanut butter blossoms than pink cookies, I'm never letting his faggot ass into my house!

the only thing santa cheats on is his diet.
 
My daughter wants to give Santa some sausage balls, which I'll be making this week with some fresh local sausage.

If only I can put in the idea is bourbon for Santa before the kids grow out of the tradition, it won't seem as bad.
 
do you throw oats with sprinkles in the yard for them?

We've previously put out oats with glitter for the reindeer (my wife's tradition). Never did anything like that when I was a kid.
 
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