Do you have a rap sheet?

Handicappers

Handicappers

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I didn’t pay a ticket in college and it came back to bite me. Got pulled over and had a warrant. Had to pay two tickets in one night. They got me red handed.
 
Got pulled over for doing 6 MPH over with no prior warrants/arrests. Cop came back to my car and said, "Thank you sir, well... I'm going to let you off with a war-" At this point I snapped into action and quickly slammed the car door into him and bolted out, whipping out my nunchucks that are naturally in the side panel and went to work. The cop went down in no time. I quickly rigged an explosive out of gasoline and pop rocks that I'd recently bought at the store and lit the cop car on fire. It was all going well until I saw some dickhead 80 year old woman phoning it in. How the fuck she even knew how to use a cell phone over a decade ago is beyond me. The police chase lasted for several hours until I decided to surrender.

So apparently what I did was a big deal? I got out of prison on good behavior after a few years... but now apparently I'm some sort of criminal? Everything IMO was completely calculated and the only logical action. Just goes to show how fucked up the legal system is in the US.
 
Can I guess AG has one for trying to smuggle Russian women across the border?
 
Served a combined 7 yrs for aggravated assault and 3rd degree manslaugther.

I'm fine now though



Mad Grumpy Cat GIF by moodman
 
Yes. But I promised that judge that if he would have a bit of leniency and bump the charge down that I would never come back to his state.

He did and I won't.
 
I’ve spent one night in jail for having alcohol as a minor(18).

I was taken to jail, but was never booked for a fight. What kind of dogooder calls the cops for two willing participants fighting? I think I was 20 when that happened
 
Couple things in college.

Underage and public intoxication (bullshit... I would walk through campus to get home, and a bored campus cop picked me up. I was about half a year from 21, so I legally got a beer after my mandatory alcohol course)

I flipped off a cop while jaywalking.... Can't remember that charge. I think it was resisting arrest or something
 
I've only been handcuff so they could search my car for weed......

other than that. i don't get caught.

im still trying to figure out how the cops knew who i was though. I was sitting with this girl and we was arguing over some dumb shit she did and someone called the cops. I step out and give him my license. Oh yeah, you used to live over there but you live here now. how do you know that motherfucker??? you haven't even ran my shit.
 
huskers1217 said:
I've only been handcuff so they could search my car for weed......

other than that. i don't get caught.

im still trying to figure out how the cops knew who i was though. I was sitting with this girl and we was arguing over some dumb shit she did and someone called the cops. I step out and give him my license. Oh yeah, you used to live over there but you live here now. how do you know that motherfucker??? you haven't even ran my shit.
Click to expand...

:blackhelicopter:
 
Nothing more than a few speeding tickets. When I was younger I was messing with sluice gates at a local farm with no idea the impact that could have, glad the farmer caught me before I damaged stuff.
 
Been arrested once a long time ago when I was a bouncer for accidentally hurting a guy. But nothing came of it.
 
Kicked out of one town for life.

Had a pistol confiscated by the police, had to get a lawyer to get it back for me.

No record, I'm a smooth talking son of a bitch.
 
two traffic tickets, both for not fully stopping at a stop sign

caught a fine when i worked at a convenience store cause i sold cigs to a 17 yo kid (not knowingly, just skirted my ID asking requirements)

banned for life from a certain hotel in Florida
 
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