Happy Birthday, Elvis

Well Done Whatever GIF by Captain Obvious
 
Elvis couldn't even play guitar. It was just a prop that he pranced around the stage with it like a fag. Might as well have been a feather boa.
 
I rest my case...
 
Probably true. I also heard he kept cheesesteak sandwiches with mayo tucked into his trousers so it looked like he had a penis, and so he had a snack for after the shows. Fat bastard.
Does the mayonnaise add to the lubricant factor?
 
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