How do you respond when someone asks “How are you doing”

People always ask how you are doing when they really should be asking why you are doing. Like, really think about it man

Blow Your Mind Wow GIF by Product Hunt
 
Doing well, you?
 
"Had a solid #2, so far so good"
 
The only acceptable answers are:

I’m alright
Ok
Pretty good, how about yourself
Can’t complain
Mind your own God damn business

If you answer with anything else, fuck you

I used to have this guy that worked for me ... his wife was one of those that every day of her life, she's sick or injured. So when you asked her how she was doing, you get a rundown of every body part and organ that is ailing her at the moment. :L What a crying bitch.

You learn that there are some you just don't ask because we don't really want to hear about it.
 
Wait, is the person asking like this? Because that is a much different response.
How You Doin Flirting GIF
 
I used to have this guy that worked for me ... his wife was one of those that every day of her life, she's sick or injured. So when you asked her how she was doing, you get a rundown of every body part and organ that is ailing her at the moment. :facepalm: What a crying bitch.

You learn that there are some you just don't ask because we don't really want to hear about it.

You just perfectly described my mother-in-law.
 
My answer is usually

I'm hangin' in there.
 
Been so tempted to reply, "Is this a trick question?" OR "Why do you ask?" :heh::heh::heh:

But usually it's something like, "Good, thanks."
 
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