I apologize on behalf of all Michigan fans.

If they stop talking (or never talk) about you it means your team sucks and aren't worth the effort.
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If you are offended by Michigan's 1.000th win

If you are offended by us scouting your team and decoding you signs

If you are offended because our coach bought a recruit a cheeseburger

I sincerely apologize for your fragility and we will attempt not to provoke you too much.

On a side note: Has any team been punished for anything more minor than: Scouting another team and decoding their signs and buying a recruit a cheeseburger?
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