I got banned for life from a bar last night

I've been kicked out of a few bars, but I've never been banned for life.

The closest I ever came was when I called the owner a "cunt" and broke his outside door window with my elbow. I went back the next day and paid for the window and all was forgiven.
 
It was one helluva night, everyone getting along, I was about to get laid with some nice strange, was sitting there during a break in karaoke and some asshole walks up and starts threatening my little short buddy Travis (nicest dude in the world who'd do anything for anybody) and I fuckin lost it.

Gotta protect your friends!

I take it you didn't get laid...
 
I've been kicked out of a few bars, but I've never been banned for life.

The closest I ever came was when I called the owner a "cunt" and broke his outside door window with my elbow. I went back the next day and paid for the window and all was forgiven.

Banged his wife a few days later
 
She was like 60 and fat. Hard pass.
disgusted new girl GIF
 
Gotta protect your friends!

I take it you didn't get laid...
The mood was broken for everyone when all the lights were flipped on and the barmaid daughter of the owner was on top of the bar smashing a broom handle down and screaming for order to be restored.

Not one of my proudest moments. Wade told me to take off because somebody called the cops and as I was standing in the Shell station across the parking lot waiting for an Uber, I think every cop car in town was patrolling the parking lot.
 
I fully understand why I got kicked out. I snuck a water bottle full of shine into a bar, I was still buying shots, but was also drinking my shine, that's a no-no, and I knew the risk when I took it in there. Why I got banned for life though, on my way out, I wasn't arguing with the bouncer or anything, but there were a few old friends on the way out that I stopped to talk with before leaving. Bouncer then decided to grab me by my shirt near my neck, and I reacted. I tackled the dude to the ground, but then before I could even throw a punch, I had 3 other bouncers tackle me off of him. My buddies and some people I didn't know cooled the situation down. Then I was told, the bouncer won't press charges, but I'm not welcome there anymore. That's fine with me. I'm not really a bar goer anyways.
Not smart.
 
The mood was broken for everyone when all the lights were flipped on and the barmaid daughter of the owner was on top of the bar smashing a broom handle down and screaming for order to be restored.

Not one of my proudest moments. Wade told me to take off because somebody called the cops and as I was standing in the Shell station across the parking lot waiting for an Uber, I think every cop car in town was patrolling the parking lot.

That'll ruin the moment for sure.
 
I fully understand why I got kicked out. I snuck a water bottle full of shine into a bar, I was still buying shots, but was also drinking my shine, that's a no-no, and I knew the risk when I took it in there. Why I got banned for life though, on my way out, I wasn't arguing with the bouncer or anything, but there were a few old friends on the way out that I stopped to talk with before leaving. Bouncer then decided to grab me by my shirt near my neck, and I reacted. I tackled the dude to the ground, but then before I could even throw a punch, I had 3 other bouncers tackle me off of him. My buddies and some people I didn't know cooled the situation down. Then I was told, the bouncer won't press charges, but I'm not welcome there anymore. That's fine with me. I'm not really a bar goer anyways.


Atta boy, I'm proud of you.
 
Years ago, I had this fat, drunk Indian bump into me rather egregiously. I told him to watch where the fuck he was going, and he told me he'd fucking scalp me. I had just the right amount of whiskey in me, and jumped on his ass like a rabid howler monkey. The bouncer pulled me off of him like I was a child. I ended up hitting him I guess too...he quite literally tossed me out.

Weeks later I got into it again there with some drunk and obnoxious Seahawks fan, and ended up getting banned for life.''

Jokes on them tho, as the place closed down just a year or so later.

The last instance was the catalyst for purchasing the Sunday Ticket. LOL
 
Me and my buddies were in a neighborhood bar one night that is (was... it’s no longer there) pretty big. It had an big long room in the front and than a separate bigger room off too the side.

This particular night it was packed. I was with a large group and we had a spot in the larger back room. Myself and two buddies went to the bar to buy some pitchers. The only spot to get to the bar was nearby the front door.

I’m at the bar ordering the beers and another large group comes in. They were all guys except they had two girls with them. One of buddies pretends he’s a bouncer there and asks them for IDs as soon as they walked in. They were suspicious but he was convincing. He takes the ID of one of the girls and says “this isn’t you!” She says “yes it is”. He then says “what’s your DOB”. She gives it. He then says “what’s your zodiac sign”? She gives it. He then says “what’s your phone number”? One of the guys in their group says something and my buddy says “ok... ok... calm down. I was just kidding.” He then says “there’s a 5 dollar per person cover charge.” One guy from that group says “there’s never a cover charge here.” My buddy says “yeah... we got a band in the back tonight. It’s 5 bucks per person.” They each then proceed to give my buddy 5 bucks and we let them in. My buddy then hands me their money to pay for the beers.

we get back to our table and my buddy says “this round is on some group of idiots” and proceeds to tell the story. Within 15 minutes they see our group and they approach us. They ask for their money back. My buddy tells them to fuck off.

Huge fight breaks out. Lots of stuff gets broken. Cops are called. We are all thrown into paddy wagons and get a free ride to jail. After we all get to jail we actually became friends with them once we all cooled down. They acknowledged that my buddy who was acting like a bouncer and collected their money should be an actor.
 
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