it's Wednesday and Toby Keith is still dead

ill said:
like a literal self assessment on yourself?

wow...that's something
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I need a thesaurus to make sure the adjectives I use to describe awesomeness don't get stale.
 
ill said:
like a literal self assessment on yourself?

wow...that's something
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You don't do a write-up of yourself for your review?

No wonder you only meet expectations.
 
Bender said:
You don't do a write-up of yourself for your review?

No wonder you only meet expectations.
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we each submit a kind of brag sheet touting our accomplishments throughout the year
 
ill said:
we each submit a kind of brag sheet touting our accomplishments throughout the year
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the fuck did you think Roy was referring to?
 
Bender said:
the fuck did you think Roy was referring to?
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a self assessment

which in my line of work is a sort of deep dive into what is and isn't working for a program
 
Bender said:
the fuck did you think Roy was referring to?
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It's weird here, the Goal/Accomplishments seems to be separate from the self-assessment even though they usually say the exact same thing. And like almost everywhere else I've been, the Goals end up being put off until assessment time so they're entered to describe the accomplishments from a different perspective.

But it's all just bullshit anyway and could be entered as Lorem Ipsum and my rating would be exactly the same. My boss knows my value and that his organization wouldn't be able to succeed without me, so that's all that matters. The only question left is... is he able to fight with the other managers to get me the top rating or do I get lumped into the "exceeds expectations" bucket with the rest of the overperformers?

It becomes a numbers game... lets say there are 4 ratings levels (there's really 5, but we'll get to that) the breakdown goes:
1. (top performers) 5%
2. (meets/exceeds) 80%
3. (meets/needs improvement) 10%
4. (get out) 5%

They try and get close to those numbers, but the salary and bonus bump difference between 1's and 2's was too big to satisfy top performers that they couldn't fit in the 1 rating, so they created a 2+. 1's get 100% of the raise and bonus expectation, 2+'s get between 90% and 100% and 2's get a discretionary range between 50% and 70%.

I'll accept a 2+ because it isn't a huge deal money wise most of the time. Anything less and I start handing out resumes to our competitors.
 
Bender said:
who cares how one did? My TSP did great and that's all that matters.
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that reminds me... now I have 2 previous employer retirement plans to roll over. I should probably get on that.
 
RoyMunson said:
It's weird here, the Goal/Accomplishments seems to be separate from the self-assessment even though they usually say the exact same thing. And like almost everywhere else I've been, the Goals end up being put off until assessment time so they're entered to describe the accomplishments from a different perspective.

But it's all just bullshit anyway and could be entered as Lorem Ipsum and my rating would be exactly the same. My boss knows my value and that his organization wouldn't be able to succeed without me, so that's all that matters. The only question left is... is he able to fight with the other managers to get me the top rating or do I get lumped into the "exceeds expectations" bucket with the rest of the overperformers?

It becomes a numbers game... lets say there are 4 ratings levels (there's really 5, but we'll get to that) the breakdown goes:
1. (top performers) 5%
2. (meets/exceeds) 80%
3. (meets/needs improvement) 10%
4. (get out) 5%

They try and get close to those numbers, but the salary and bonus bump difference between 1's and 2's was too big to satisfy top performers that they couldn't fit in the 1 rating, so they created a 2+. 1's get 100% of the raise and bonus expectation, 2+'s get between 90% and 100% and 2's get a discretionary range between 50% and 70%.

I'll accept a 2+ because it isn't a huge deal money wise most of the time. Anything less and I start handing out resumes to our competitors.
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Yeah, my shit is the same every year. We have 5 different rating elements and can either be scored a 1, 3, or 5. 4.3+ and above is the highest tier for bonuses. Guess who gets Three 5's and Two 3's every year for a 4.2 avg, with the 5's and 3's in random elements each year?

I give fuck all about the write-up I do every year.
 
Bender said:
You don't do a write-up of yourself for your review?

No wonder you only meet expectations.
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The 3 U’s to success:

Unavailable. Unreachable. Uninterested.
 
ill said:
I got my end of year review and I am a little disappointed that I am only at Meets Expectations.

I should be a level up from that.
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Lower your expectations.
 
RoyMunson said:
I just got my email about completing my self-assessment before my review.

I hope they're prepared for the awesomeness in which I describe myself.
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Self-assessments are such BS.

Just like being asked in an interview what are your weaknesses.
 
ill said:
I got my end of year review and I am a little disappointed that I am only at Meets Expectations.

I should be a level up from that.
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I still think my favorite review was when I was told I exceeded expectations, but my expectation was to exceed expectations therefore I met expectations


Wait What Instinct GIF by CBS
 
Inquisitor said:
Self-assessments are such BS.

Just like being asked in an interview what are your weaknesses.
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Thankfully that question doesn't seem to common anymore
 
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