Offensive Joke thread.

too soon?


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Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, you’ve got to hand it to her.
 
One day, a little old Jewish man is walking along a beach when he comes across a magic lamp. Not knowing what it is he rubs it to dust away the dirt. When he does, a giant genie emerges from the lamp. The genie looks down at the little old Jewish man and says “I have been trapped in that lamp for over a 1,000 years. As gratitude for freeing me I will grant you one wish.” The little old Jewish man doesn’t hesitate. He pulls out his cell phone and googles a map of the world. He then shows the map to the genie, points to Israel and says “oh mighty and powerful genie. All of civilization is in conflict because this area of the world is in turmoil. I want you to bring peace to this region of the world so that all of mankind can live in harmony.”

The genie looks down at the little old man and with a somewhat sad look on his face says “my powers are strong but I’m not sure that even I can grant you that wish.” He then says to the little old Jewish man “you are clearly a good man. You are willing to use your one wish to help all of mankind. You deserve to be a little bit selfish here. Tell me… what can I do for YOU to make you happy?”

The little old Jewish man thinks. He then looks at the genie and somewhat sheepishly says “I have two beautiful daughters who are both married and to whom I gave very nice expensive traditional Jewish weddings. I have lots of grandchildren whom I spoil. I’ve been married to the same Jewish woman for over 50 years. I’ve been faithful the entire time we’ve been married. I’ve never cheated on her. She is a good traditional Jewish woman and has taught my daughters how to be good and honorable Jewish woman. I love my wife very much but could you please use your powers to have my wife give me a blowjob just one time?”

The genie takes a few minutes to ponder and think about the little old man’s request. After some thought, the genie looks down at the little old man and says “let me see that map again”.
 
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too soon?


206107551_10222145145150819_2219901713333202886_n.jpg
Hey, hold up. I need to axe some questions about this.
1. Why she holding her plate and fork so delicately?
2. There seems to be an upside-down cleavage thing happening there...why?
3. Is that material disappearing into the juxtapositioned flesh crevice?
4. @Illustrious Potentate would you?
 
Hey, hold up. I need to axe some questions about this.
1. Why she holding her plate and fork so delicately?
2. There seems to be an upside-down cleavage thing happening there...why?
3. Is that material disappearing into the juxtapositioned flesh crevice?
4. @Illustrious Potentate would you?
My late favorite great uncle always told me the big lardass women were the best lay because you had 4 inches of good fucking before you ever reached the pussy. He said that while having a wife who was skinny as a rail and I had to explain that I’d never be able to reach the pussy if that were the case. RIP Uncle Lamar
 
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