Post your obscure confessions

Sometimes I steal the Oreos out of my kids Lunchables then just throw the rest of the Lunchable in the garbage to conceal the evidence because a kid forgetting there was a Lunchable in the fridge is easier to deal with than a kid who figures out I stole his cookies.
 
RobBase said:
Sometimes I steal the Oreos out of my kids Lunchables then just throw the rest of the Lunchable in the garbage to conceal the evidence because a kid forgetting there was a Lunchable in the fridge is easier to deal with than a kid who figures out I stole his cookies.
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You...MONSTER!


Lunchables have too much non-recyclable packaging!
 
I want to bash OP, but at the same time I admire and applaud him because he has yet to see one of the greatest movies of all time
 
RoyMunson said:
what about s'mores?
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The Sandlot Movie GIF
 
I am on vacation with my parents. Just us 3. My dad is freaking awesome, at being a pain in the ass. Sets a budget that's impossible to adhear too and then complains cause he went over. OMG, dad forgot about paying for parking down town! Only waters at the restaurant or his head will explode. The fact he had to double back and now has to get gas today instead of tomorrow set the whole trip into a spin.

It's all cool cause every penny he pinches will get split 3 ways. But mom and I laugh at this shit.

My mom and dad have plenty. They have banks all over town with 20k to 80k in them just in cash. House is paid for. Has all kinds of investments including a boat marina. Dad's just a miser.

Here's to day 3. Mom and I a talking about how to squeeze $10 out of dad for donuts.
 
Godstree said:
I am on vacation with my parents. Just us 3. My dad is freaking awesome, at being a pain in the ass. Sets a budget that's impossible to adhear too and then complains cause he went over. OMG, dad forgot about paying for parking down town! Only waters at the restaurant or his head will explode. The fact he had to double back and now has to get gas today instead of tomorrow set the whole trip into a spin.

It's all cool cause every penny he pinches will get split 3 ways. But mom and I laugh at this shit.

My mom and dad have plenty. They have banks all over town with 20k to 80k in them just in cash. House is paid for. Has all kinds of investments including a boat marina. Dad's just a miser.

Here's to day 3. Mom and I a talking about how to squeeze $10 out of dad for donuts.
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I drove my dad to my great aunt's funeral on Monday. The entirety of the hour drive there and hour back was non-stop "Biden this, Trump that". The dude is incapable of talking about anything except politics and will not take so much as a fifteen second pause between ravings.

...Imagine going on a road trip with @Sickness.
 
Godstree said:
I am on vacation with my parents. Just us 3. My dad is freaking awesome, at being a pain in the ass. Sets a budget that's impossible to adhear too and then complains cause he went over. OMG, dad forgot about paying for parking down town! Only waters at the restaurant or his head will explode. The fact he had to double back and now has to get gas today instead of tomorrow set the whole trip into a spin.

It's all cool cause every penny he pinches will get split 3 ways. But mom and I laugh at this shit.

My mom and dad have plenty. They have banks all over town with 20k to 80k in them just in cash. House is paid for. Has all kinds of investments including a boat marina. Dad's just a miser.

Here's to day 3. Mom and I a talking about how to squeeze $10 out of dad for donuts.
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How old are you?
 
Godstree said:
I am on vacation with my parents. Just us 3. My dad is freaking awesome, at being a pain in the ass. Sets a budget that's impossible to adhear too and then complains cause he went over. OMG, dad forgot about paying for parking down town! Only waters at the restaurant or his head will explode. The fact he had to double back and now has to get gas today instead of tomorrow set the whole trip into a spin.

It's all cool cause every penny he pinches will get split 3 ways. But mom and I laugh at this shit.

My mom and dad have plenty. They have banks all over town with 20k to 80k in them just in cash. House is paid for. Has all kinds of investments including a boat marina. Dad's just a miser.

Here's to day 3. Mom and I a talking about how to squeeze $10 out of dad for donuts.
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lolz

Parents are nuts. Mrs Redfoot told me that last night while out to dinner with our youngest, my parents freaked out on a local restaurant (that we happen to be regulars at) because they wouldn't take a check. A fucking check. In 2024.

Can't wait to bust their balls for that one. "You should have just sent them an I.O.U. on your telex machine!"

They're crazy, but I'm lucky to have them.
 
occupant said:
In 9th grade whilst on a church swimming party I laid my head in a girl’s lap and proceeded to pull her bathing attire to the side and tongued her snatch.
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In junior high, I was at a party and a girl and I went into a guest room. We laid down on the bed and she gave me a blow job. I kept thinking, 'man, her breath REALLY STINKS!' but I didn't stop her - let her keep going because, well, blow job. Later, I found cat shit all over the bed.
 
Bayou Tiger said:
How old are you?
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55. I loves my mom and dad. When asked if I wanted to go the the Texas Republican Convention with them, I said fuck yeah! Was in Houston 2 years ago with them. We had a blast. This time we got to do some cool stuff. Saw the Burleson Bible at the Alamo. I am apart of that family on mom's side. That's neat.

Wait, was that a pick up line and I blew it? If so, just turned 18. How old are you?
 
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