tOfficial Night Shift Thread, get your kicks on v66, and do your f*cking time card

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I love Chewies elaborate fake stories. Theyre always rich with southern culture and when I read it again, I do so out loud with a southern accent.
 
After that, me and my gf just walked back to my parents house and tied a good one on and listened to music on the back deck, and my mama cooked us biscuits and gravy this morning

Wait, you fornicated with a woman you weren't married to at your parents' house? And your mom cooked you both breakfast?

I am shocked at this.
 
Wait, you fornicated with a woman you weren't married to at your parents' house? And your mom cooked you both breakfast?

I am shocked at this.
Are you new to this planet or did you forget to use the green font?
 
Reason why aliens won't contact us.......

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