tOfficial Night Shift Thread v65, the thread no one wanted to start.

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moxie said:
Why did they put sausage on a stick? Isn't that a little overkill? I mean, it's already dick shaped, why does it need to be impaled by another dick?
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There's never enough impaling when it comes to this.

Wouldn't be surprised if the stick had a smaller stick inside it.
 
Peter Gozintite said:
I was being sarcastic, but got the only person in a warmer winter climate than me, to bite.
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It's 22 here right now, and that shit feels like Spring compared to this last week. Sun is out en sech.

It was nasty here the last week or so.
 
Illustrious Potentate said:
No, it’s not. Not because of any turtles, but because I don’t want to die because a big ass catfish drowned me. That would be embarrassing
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I saw one of those outdoor shows where this 250 pound dude said he almost drowned when a big catfish grabbed his arm while he was submerged in a small tunnel. His friends had to pull him out by his feet. He said if he had been alone he would have drowned.
 
Dolemite censored said:
I saw one of those outdoor shows where this 250 pound dude said he almost drowned when a big catfish grabbed his arm while he was submerged in a small tunnel. His friends had to pull him out by his feet. He said if he had been alone he would have drowned.
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The biggest fish I have ever caught is a 64 pound flathead catfish, and that’s not close to the state record, and the blue catfish get just as big. A catfish that big is gonna be stronger than you underwater and have a mouth big enough to fit a leg in. I’ll catch em from the bank or a boat thank you
 
FhOCADeWAAEuTH9
 
This WAP of a boss is pissing me off.
Moi a few days ago: I declined that Sales Meeting on the 16th because you'll still be getting through the airport. You have Larry, Curly & Moe all going, so they can rep and give you a passdown. Plus, it will be 7:30 ET (and the reason I told the hosts there will be no dinner meeting that evening).
WAP: Sounds good... I don't really need to go to it anyway. It's mostly about *something I don't really give a shit about*. And good call on the dinner - the one meeting the following day is fine.

Sales Meeting Admin email at 9:58am PT today: WAP told my boss's boss that if we move the meeting to 5pm, he could make it.
Sales Meeting Admin IM at 9:58am PT today: I sent you an email
My email at 10:03am PT today: His flight lands at 4:34pm. If he thinks he can make it, go for it.
Sales Meeting Admin at 10:04am PT today: calls me
Moi: Ignores call

i cant hear basketball wives GIF by VH1

Move the meeting or don't! His ass is gonna complain the day of that he's still deplaning and can't make it. IDGAF.
 
I took 20 bucks out of my kids wallet one day a couple of weeks ago so I could go out and get some lunch.

forgot to hit the ATM an replace it... ive never seen a bigger breakdown...


damn thing fell under the dresser 2 days later and i was a hero for finding it.
 
beardown07 said:
My daughter is a rock star.

Read her poem in front of over a thousand people without flinching.

The other girl that won chickened out.
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How pissed do you think her real parents are going to be when the hospital finally comes clean about the mix-up at birth?

:heh:
 
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