tOfficial Night Shift Thread v65, the thread no one wanted to start.

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Coworker: "Why is X budget number this month behind last month?
Me: "What do you mean."
Coworker: "Well it was X last month and Y this month."
Me: "Well the month still has 11 days in it."
Coworker: "Oh that would make sense!"

Mad Looney Tunes GIF by MOODMAN
 
steelerssb said:
Coworker: "Why is X budget number this month behind last month?
Me: "What do you mean."
Coworker: "Well it was X last month and Y this month."
Me: "Well the month still has 11 days in it."
Coworker: "Oh that would make sense!"

Mad Looney Tunes GIF by MOODMAN
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OH god, we get this all the time...
"My check was less in February than it was in January!"
"Yeah, you're paid a PER DIEM, not a PER MONTHLYUM. So expect to get less money in April, June, September and November, as well"
 
Was feeling adventurous this morning so when I ordered my coffee, I was side-eyeing a loaf cake thingie. Ana, the best barista, says, “it’s pumpkin walnut and it’s REALLY good!” So I try to take a closer look through the cloudy cloche (it looks like its made of clear melamine that they’ve scrubbed with a Brillo pad) and say, “does it have raisins in it?” Lovely Ana- “walnuts”. Moi: “okay. Fuck it. I’ll try it.”

Get up to my desk…walnuts AND RAISINS!!
:gaah:
 
moxie said:
Was feeling adventurous this morning so when I ordered my coffee, I was side-eyeing a loaf cake thingie. Ana, the best barista, says, “it’s pumpkin walnut and it’s REALLY good!” So I try to take a closer look through the cloudy cloche (it looks like its made of clear melamine that they’ve scrubbed with a Brillo pad) and say, “does it have raisins in it?” Lovely Ana- “walnuts”. Moi: “okay. Fuck it. I’ll try it.”

Get up to my desk…walnuts AND RAISINS!!
:gaah:
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Wrinkled Rabbit Eggs are good for ya!! :nod:
 
steelerssb said:
Getting emails asking why I haven't taken the "which (first name) are you quiz" on Buzzfeed from someone at work.

squidward-spongebob.gif
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God damn it I'm STILL hearing about this.

Quick someone tell me what celebrity dead or alive I pretend to want to have dinner with.
 
CorpRebel said:
Think of them as overly dry "wine seeds"... You just chew your wine instead of drinking it. :biggrin:
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What a waste of energy! Drinking is infinitely less taxing than chewing! You are off your rocker, sir.
 
steelerssb said:
God damn it I'm STILL hearing about this.

Quick someone tell me what celebrity dead or alive I pretend to want to have dinner with.
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Tell them you got “ Adolph”.
 
"What word would describe you in college."

Motherfucker this is entrapment. Already feel like I'm pushing it listing "Malort" as the thing I'd order for the table.
 
moxie said:
Was feeling adventurous this morning so when I ordered my coffee, I was side-eyeing a loaf cake thingie. Ana, the best barista, says, “it’s pumpkin walnut and it’s REALLY good!” So I try to take a closer look through the cloudy cloche (it looks like its made of clear melamine that they’ve scrubbed with a Brillo pad) and say, “does it have raisins in it?” Lovely Ana- “walnuts”. Moi: “okay. Fuck it. I’ll try it.”

Get up to my desk…walnuts AND RAISINS!!
:gaah:
Click to expand...
Sounds like Ana needs a bit of a tune-up. Is there a Jason’s Deli near your Starbucks?
 
williewilliejuan said:
Sounds like Ana needs a bit of a tune-up. Is there a Jason’s Deli near your Starbucks?
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Nah, but there is a Mendocino Farms. Maybe I’ll challenge her to a pillow fight this afternoon.
 
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