Tuesday's Evidence Gathering and Pretrial of Ill for the Outcasting of the Worlds Worst Hippie Ever

SlinkyRedfoot said:
For real though, this is a very good way to get out of jury duty without begging. During voir dire, drop a little "well, he did get arrested, and usually where there's smoke, there's fire" talk, and you'll get dismissed.
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"people who are up to no good get arrested. He is probably guilty of something"



"Next Juror!"
 
So who goes first? Opening statements from the defendant typically lead off here, right?
 
SlinkyRedfoot said:
For real though, this is a very good way to get out of jury duty without begging. During voir dire, drop a little "well, he did get arrested, and usually where there's smoke, there's fire" talk, and you'll get dismissed.
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I saw a guy try that once. He says "Well my sister was on drugs and I hate drugs and I think all drug dealers should be hung" and the judge says "I've seen your type before, if you think you can make up stuff to get out of this trial I show you how contempt and a day in jail feels"

When they got to me, any reason you can't be impartial?, do you know any of the participants?,

I said "Well outside of the defense lawyer being the judge at my divorce I don't see a problem"

Everyone laughs, I get sent home.
 
Peter Gozintite said:
So who goes first? Opening statements from the defendant typically lead off here, right?
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Your honor, what are your thoughts regarding someone -- subtly -- jerking off into the trashcan under their desk during court proceedings?
 
reading an article last night and comment to section

saw comment that stood out, this person can't be real, it must be a bot, clicked on their profile

one mutual friend: @kobesgame
 
SlinkyRedfoot said:
Your honor, what are your thoughts regarding someone -- subtly -- jerking off into the trashcan under their desk during court proceedings?
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That's the next trial

Your secretary is pressing charges
 
stakesarehigh said:
@kobesgame not playing along

Too busy charging people in five minute increments

She will be on for Ill from 255-3pm

Really putting her all into his case
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I am offering @ill competitive rates for my services. Whatever @kobesgame charges out I require an additional 30% on top of because I have a penis. Those are just the rules.
 
stakesarehigh said:
I am guessing a hand was slapped for lingering too long or wandering
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bro hug GIF


she was totally into it
 
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Fish said:
I saw a guy try that once. He says "Well my sister was on drugs and I hate drugs and I think all drug dealers should be hung" and the judge says "I've seen your type before, if you think you can make up stuff to get out of this trial I show you how contempt and a day in jail feels"

When they got to me, any reason you can't be impartial?, do you know any of the participants?,

I said "Well outside of the defense lawyer being the judge at my divorce I don't see a problem"

Everyone laughs, I get sent home.
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Got to be a finalist in Riverside, California on a murder one trial as a juror in about 2011.

Got on the stand in front of a packed courtroom and the defense asks me "do you trust the police?" Said yes.

Asked "do you support the death penalty?" I said "in certain cases, absolutely."

Asked "if the prosecution makes a statement, do you tend to believe it?" Said "yes."

Defense huddles for about three seconds.

"Juror 41729, you're excused."

Was sitting at the bar in Hooter's in Ontario about 15 mins later.
 
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