Under the Porch with the Guide Bear!

Okay, Good afternoon Dummies!

This will be a NO-Nonsense post from start to finish. My niece and I just returned from visiting my mom and I have grave concerns about her situation. I am WORRIED SICK that she will be prosecuted for polygamy! Just in the past six weeks she claims marriages to at least a dozen different men. My hope, I hope to God that the Law turns a blind eye on this one considering my Mom ain't gonna live forever.

Just let her enjoy her stable of men and go pester the younger criminals, that's what I say!

So today, my mom said she took an airplane flight to another contest and she won another 500 bucks! And I was like, kinda all excited, and I said, "way to go, Mom!" and she got so happy and tickled, it was so good!

She is also very preoccupied with her furniture in her room, three older very well built dressers from the 60's or early 70's. Nobody in the family needs it and my Mom said do NOT give it to anyone that hates fish! So Funny! She LOVES to hear me talk about my swimmers too, she seems very happy. You decide!
My mom and me..jpg
 
Well I will be on the move in a couple hours to my new host's house. My brother's house is about 10 miles west of Akron and my new residence is about 10 miles south of Akron.

My other niece is going to drive me there. That means with we probably drive right thru Akron.

If I was driving I'd drive AROUND Akron, basically give half of Akron a rim job so to speak and I'm okay with that. What I won't be okay with would be to stop and exit the vehicle in city limits, right on the B-hole so to speak. NO THANK YOU!

Because I ain't got me no Haz Mat suit!
angry tiere bis unters dach GIF by SWR Kindernetz
 
Peter Gozintite said:
You got heat yet?
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Oh yeah, it got up to 81 degrees yesterday and today should be a repeat, tomorrow too. My new host family, it's Amantha and Random, that's what their names sound like sorta, they have about ten chickens, 2 ducks and that one bed hogging rooster and a great big back yard.

If that cocky rooster, if he don't behave I'm making rooster noodle soup for dinter.
 
So is our bear all settled in? This paid leave of absence from Crew work doesn’t last forever. But the Crew does.
 
Handicappers said:
So is our bear all settled in? This paid leave of absence from Crew work doesn’t last forever. But the Crew does.
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By order of importance:
1. Crew
2. Family
3. Country
4. God

So Amantha is a trauma nurse at a major hospital in Akron and she works odd hours, like 3 twelve hour shifts in 3 days, that sort of thing.

And just this past Monday Random passed the Bar Exam, he is now a real life Barrister!

I tole 'eem to get a powdered wig to complete the look and go sue happy!
Tv Show America GIF by Reconnecting Roots
 
Good morning friends! Now normally I would report this action to the proper Daily Thread, however since I'm up before the Daily I Shall self report right here Under the Porch!

Today I'm gonna go visit my Mom again this morning. I don't think she has but a few more days until she passes. It's sad but it's not tragic, my Mom is 96!!! And she went through hell raising ten kids and I'm very pleased and happy that she is going out in high spirits. I love my Mom.

Peace & Love, kind friends!
Mothers Day Mom GIF by Angry Birds
 
Parka said:
Good morning friends! Now normally I would report this action to the proper Daily Thread, however since I'm up before the Daily I Shall self report right here Under the Porch!

Today I'm gonna go visit my Mom again this morning. I don't think she has but a few more days until she passes. It's sad but it's not tragic, my Mom is 96!!! And she went through hell raising ten kids and I'm very pleased and happy that she is going out in high spirits. I love my Mom.

Peace & Love, kind friends!
Mothers Day Mom GIF by Angry Birds
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You're allowed to make the daily thread if you get up early...nobody will complain.

Sorry to hear about your mom, but is living a long life and you came to visit. ARe the other 9 siblings in town as well?
 
Handicappers said:
You're allowed to make the daily thread if you get up early...nobody will complain.

Sorry to hear about your mom, but is living a long life and you came to visit. ARe the other 9 siblings in town as well?
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Thanks Handi, I tell you what though. I'm with my mom right now and she seems kinda okay to me!

I got a bad report about her yesterday but yeah, she seems sorta not too bad today.

Only one bro and two sisters still live in the Akron area and the rest are scattered all over the country and my bro from Indy was in on Mother's Day and some of my fam is estranged, sometimes I can't keep up with who is mad at who but I have 2 sorta hateful sisters that cause problems. It's not uncommon in families.

Thanks for asking, Handi, you are a good man and a GREAT Crew mate!
Nice Guy Romance GIF by ABC Network
 
Parka said:
Thanks Handi, I tell you what though. I'm with my mom right now and she seems kinda okay to me!

I got a bad report about her yesterday but yeah, she seems sorta not too bad today.

Only one bro and two sisters still live in the Akron area and the rest are scattered all over the country and my bro from Indy was in on Mother's Day and some of my fam is estranged, sometimes I can't keep up with who is mad at who but I have 2 sorta hateful sisters that cause problems. It's not uncommon in families.

Thanks for asking, Handi, you are a good man and a GREAT Crew mate!
Nice Guy Romance GIF by ABC Network
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We're all in this together buddy. When @Peter Gozintite created the Crew, he created a fraternity of brothers that look out for one another. We call him The Godfather.
 
Handicappers said:
We're all in this together buddy. When @Peter Gozintite created the Crew, he created a fraternity of brothers that look out for one another. We call him The Godfather.
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Ah man, I thought at the last meeting we were ordered NOT to mention who is the Godfather! I dun thought we was posed to say it's someone that LOOKS like Petey G.

Crap Handi, Chief might not let me salute him with both hands at the same time no more!
Jim Carrey Reaction GIF by Laff
 
Parka said:
Chief might not let me salute him with both hands at the same time
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Peter Gozintite said:
No
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I'm still gonna do it when ya ain't looking! You know, to that Chief that 'looks' like you!

But listen friends, and good morning too, but I REALLY need to talk about Dr. Green Been today.

This stuff is WAY too heavy for the Daily Thread. I have to collect myself for this saga, so heavy!

BRB! See ya later Alligator, in a while Crocodile, not too soon fat Racoon!
 
Okay friends, it's right to the point and then I will explain the details, AKA 'over sharing'!

All indicators point to a May 24 break-up with Dr. Green Been, AKA 'Hagatha' and it is all her doing.

And it's all because I foiled her plan to steal away with me and start anew on the run!

What happened was, when I agreed to meet her in person during an unrelated appt at the VA, and then when I didn't follow through AND bolted for Akron, well I suppose I simply broke her heart and now, I believe, she wants to 'punish' me in some way.

I looked it up and what Hagatha has for me, It's called the 'Bad Boy' syndrome. Plus I am a total He-Man, erry body knows that!

Anyway, Haggie and I have been having virtuals pretty much every Tuesday and lately I keep getting canceled and re-booked for a later Tuesday. So at our last virtual, I showed her this pic:no touchy!.jpg

And that is when the 'Bad Boy' syndrome kicked in in overdrive! Her face flushed... with desire... for me!

Listen Friends, cep for my missing upper lip, I ain't got me no shortcomings, HOWEVER, I do got me a ton of ISSUES!
And A Good Time Shan't be Denied!
 
Sing it with me, Kind Friends!

If I had me a Hammer, I'd hit my ass hole brother Joe....

Right on the god damn Big Toe...

I'd hit 'eem in the morning, I'd hit 'eem in the sternum...

I'd hit 'eem in the evening, all over his face!

AMEN, Bothers and Sisters!

I'm not ready for Mass yet, however, when the time does arise, a Black Mass Shan't be Denied!
 
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