Under the Porch with the Guide Bear!

[Peter Gozintite]

But I don't want to 'hang' out with my son! Of course I love him but the dude is a lazy bum and I'd rather love him from afar and get my Bunny back in my Chamber of Love among other unmentionable pleasures-(outta respect for Petey!) I really really really REALLY like spending time with Bunny when things are going good. My son needs to take care of his own mess that HE made for himself.

My son won't return my calls or respond to my texts so the ball is in his hands. Bunny asked me, 'how's that make you feel' and I answered it made me feel like it's his choice.

It sounds like a fundamental issue between you and your son. I can't imagine that he has an excuse for being a lazy fuck, with a wheel chair bond father that remodels kitchens. It must be painful for you to watch him be this way. Not sure how Bunny can be perfectly fine with him being a do nothing. What happens to him when you guys arent around to take care of him anymore? Does he just become homeless? Does she even think about that angle?

It may come down to some acceptance on your part. Accepting that you cant "fix" him, for lack of a better term, and just accept that he never going to be a "go getter". Accept him for what he is, and understand that if she is okay with it, you are too. I mean, if you know he isnt going to change, and you know she isnt going to pick you, over him,(and not many mothers would pick a spouse over a child) then you may need to think about it.

 

[dbldwn711]

 

[Wild Turkey]

It sounds like a fundamental issue between you and your son. I can't imagine that he has an excuse for being a lazy fuck, with a wheel chair bond father that remodels kitchens. It must be painful for you to watch him be this way. Not sure how Bunny can be perfectly fine with him being a do nothing. What happens to him when you guys arent around to take care of him anymore? Does he just become homeless? Does she even think about that angle?

It may come down to some acceptance on your part. Accepting that you cant "fix" him, for lack of a better term, and just accept that he never going to be a "go getter". Accept him for what he is, and understand that if she is okay with it, you are too. I mean, if you know he isnt going to change, and you know she isnt going to pick you, over him,(and not many mothers would pick a spouse over a child) then you may need to think about it.

It has nothing to do with Parka. Bunny is an enabler and the kid doesn’t have to be accountable with her. He probably wants Parka out so he can move back in, not get a job and Bunny will take care of him. The little shit wants his dad in the street.

The only choice Parka has is to lay low and let the kid do what he wants or he’ll stir that pot again. He knows what he is doing.

His only play right now is get an attorney and try to get what he can and make the loss so big Bunny isn’t willing to chance it. If he can get some kind of monthly support settlement from Bunny she might wake up.

 

[Parka]

It sounds like a fundamental issue between you and your son. I can't imagine that he has an excuse for being a lazy fuck, with a wheel chair bond father that remodels kitchens. It must be painful for you to watch him be this way. Not sure how Bunny can be perfectly fine with him being a do nothing. What happens to him when you guys arent around to take care of him anymore? Does he just become homeless? Does she even think about that angle?

It may come down to some acceptance on your part. Accepting that you cant "fix" him, for lack of a better term, and just accept that he never going to be a "go getter". Accept him for what he is, and understand that if she is okay with it, you are too. I mean, if you know he isnt going to change, and you know she isnt going to pick you, over him,(and not many mothers would pick a spouse over a child) then you may need to think about it.

Well Pete, let me just shelf this for the time being and I have a much bigger problem happening right now in real time!

Before I get started though, I must address a glaring omission you made in your serious comment concerning my current state of affairs.

You didn't even mention, not even one god damn time, that I also WON the M-Effin Tour de God Damn France! It's a big deal!

Now I'm getting all angry again!

So my immediate distress is that my Have & Have turned sour on me! And it's not even the 17th yet, the phony ass 'use by' date! I used it anyway because black coffee just ain't one of my desires. My coffee needs candied up because I'm sensitive!

Also on this Friday the 17th, I have my 6 month oncology appt. at the VA. I don't know what oncology means but it's where I get my cancer treatment, a shot in the belly. And guess who is taking me? Bunny, that's who!

Pete, I will respond to your well reasoned and thoughtful comment later, you brought up some very important no joke kinds of things that me and Bunny need to figure out and understand. Your comments will be helpful to me when this 'third party' thing gets started.

 

[Handicappers]

 

[Bayou Tiger]

Starting to see Bunny's side of things....hahaha


That is a hard headed Bear!

 

[Wild Turkey]

Starting to see Bunny's side of things....hahaha


That is a hard headed Bear!

She has a point about his anger issues and he is in denial about that. The son is a douche and I would write him off.

My kids know there is no safety net. If they can’t be productive citizens then it ain’t my problem. I’ve taught them everything they need to know and given them every advantage I could. Waste it and your screwed.

 

[dbldwn711]

She has a point about his anger issues and he is in denial about that. The son is a douche and I would write him off.

My kids know there is no safety net. If they can’t be productive citizens then it ain’t my problem. I’ve taught them everything they need to know and given them every advantage I could. Waste it and your screwed.

it’s easy for you to say that. First, I agree with you but that’s NOT the situation here. What if your wife didn’t agree with what you just said? What if your wife was an enabler of one your kids? Would that make you “mad”? Would that entitle someone to then label you with “anger issues”?

 

[Wild Turkey]

it’s easy for you to say that. First, I agree with you but that’s NOT the situation here. What if your wife didn’t agree with what you just said? What if your wife was an enabler of one your kids? Would that make you “mad”? Would that entitle someone to then label you with “anger issues”?

You would have a point if his anger issues weren’t all over this thread and a few others he is on. Parka goes from zero to a hundred in about 2 seconds and half the time I’ve no idea what set him off. Then he’ll run around BS rating every post on the thread.

With that short of trigger it’s hard to make progress.

Now to answer your question if it was my family our asses would be in family therapy and let the professionals work it out. If that didn’t work we wouldnt be married.

 

[dbldwn711]

You would have a point if his anger issues weren’t all over this thread and a few others he is on. Parka goes from zero to a hundred in about 2 seconds and half the time I’ve no idea what set him off. Then he’ll run around BS rating every post on the thread.

With that short of trigger it’s hard to make progress.

Now to answer your question if it was my family our asses would be in family therapy and let the professionals work it out. If that didn’t work we wouldnt be married.

i think, once again, it’s easy for you to judge and pontificate. You easily equate his online persona with real life issues. The dude is a lot older than you, he’s in declining health, he’s confined (at least part of the time) to a wheelchair, he’s talking about seeing an oncologist which suggests he’s dealing with cancer, his at least somewhat dependent on others for his well being/medical care and he apparently has a fully grown son who not only isn’t helping out but is knowingly driving a wedge bw him and his “wife” who is his primary health care provider. That’s a lot man. I dare say that if you had to deal with any combination of that you’d be more than a little “angry” and I’m not sure a “counselor” could work all that out.

None of us are perfect… not even you. How about having a little empathy for the guy. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t deal with that situation any better than he is. He’s alone. He’s isolated in his own house. His ONE person is turning on him. Ok… he’s angry. Who among us wouldn’t be.

 

[Parka]

Right on Handi Slap Capper! It's true friend, I'm a huge fan of drugs! Keep on keepin on, kind friend, ROAR!

 

[Parka]

Parka goes from zero to a hundred in about 2 seconds

And that is EXACTLY why I dominated the Tour de France! And I'm STILL waiting for YOU to tell ME
Happy Birthday from Aug. 6.

I shall answer every single one of your somewhat misguided conceptions about me and you might not agree but for months you judged and even attempted to 'diagnose' me as well.

Now it's my turn to judge and diagnose you.

 

[Parka]

Starting to see Bunny's side of things....hahaha


That is a hard headed Bear!

Hey Friend! I'm always glad for your take on things no matter the subject!

The bottom line, I don't want to get broke up with and I don't want to leave either.

The best news about all this, I'm keeping my wits about me, it's kind of a combo of a sense of relief and a tiny bit of giddiness that I did not fall into depression...

 

[Parka]

She has a point about his anger issues and he is in denial about that.

Show me where I ever denied having anger issues.

I wrote this a few days ago:

"It was all Bunny's idea to split up, not mine and I don't want it to happen. She says after 30 years that finally she can't take my style anymore, she claims I have anger issues. Of course I have anger issues. But I don't break things or hit, bite, scratch, kick or otherwise inflict physical pain upon others. It's always my words that get me in trouble and almost never my actions."

So there, you are already wrong... and I'm just getting started!

 

[Handicappers]

 

[Parka]

He’s isolated

It's getting that way a little bit especially with Bunny's people. Her brother, the most major He-Hag in all of Gwinnett County and beyond, I haven't seen or heard a peep from him since this started nor have I heard from his wife and their 3 girls. And that is no surprise, of course they will side with Bunny no matter the complexity of relationships. But at least Bunny comes home every day and I'm hoping for the best.

@beardown07 , Bunny's brother the Original He-Hag is a huge puss!

1. He is afraid of small birds!!! We have these house wrens that nest near the porch ceiling and when He-Hag comes over, he cowers and swings his arms over his head while he makes scaredy bitch noises.

2. I unplugged the hose to my air compressor and he was close by and it startled the fuck out of 'eem and he got all indignant and acted like I did it on purpose just to mess with him. He always thinks people are plotting against him... What a pussy!

3. And this one takes the cake. When I was in the middle of building cabinets, I built a pull-out drawer for him to use in his kitchen. Well the drawer, it's a double trash can drawer, it needed some work to make it operate as it was intended. So he brought the drawer to my house and I did what needed done, I DID THE WORK! Not Him. He gets a phone call, he tells whoever the fuck it is, probably another He-Haggish ass Whole, he tells this fruitcake that HE is helping ME!!! Boy oh boy did that not ever sit well with me.

And sometimes I tell Bunny that her brother is a huge pussy and a effin ass whole and she gets mad about that. I got her so good with that a couple days ago, I was adamant about it when I said he's a pussy and she called me a 'tough guy' and said he could beat me up!
Well I hope he could whip a disabled senior! HAHAHA! I got her good!

 

[Handicappers]

 

[Wild Turkey]

i think, once again, it’s easy for you to judge and pontificate. You easily equate his online persona with real life issues. The dude is a lot older than you, he’s in declining health, he’s confined (at least part of the time) to a wheelchair, he’s talking about seeing an oncologist which suggests he’s dealing with cancer, his at least somewhat dependent on others for his well being/medical care and he apparently has a fully grown son who not only isn’t helping out but is knowingly driving a wedge bw him and his “wife” who is his primary health care provider. That’s a lot man. I dare say that if you had to deal with any combination of that you’d be more than a little “angry” and I’m not sure a “counselor” could work all that out.

None of us are perfect… not even you. How about having a little empathy for the guy. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t deal with that situation any better than he is. He’s alone. He’s isolated in his own house. His ONE person is turning on him. Ok… he’s angry. Who among us wouldn’t be.

I’m not judging him as I understand why the anger issues are there but read the thread and he is in denial of them, even makes fun of it.

Honestly you are doing him a disservice by not helping him see it. In a way you are enabling the denial by supporting him and making him think it’s ok.

A little tough love is a good thing.

 

[Wild Turkey]

Show me where I ever denied having anger issues.

I wrote this a few days ago:

"It was all Bunny's idea to split up, not mine and I don't want it to happen. She says after 30 years that finally she can't take my style anymore, she claims I have anger issues. Of course I have anger issues. But I don't break things or hit, bite, scratch, kick or otherwise inflict physical pain upon others. It's always my words that get me in trouble and almost never my actions."

So there, you are already wrong... and I'm just getting started!

Acknowledging the issue and working on it are two different animals. In your post you acknowledge it but then use language excusing it because it could be worse.

Females in relationships primarily want to feel safe because that is a basic need for them. In a way you are denying bunny that. Having a conversation with her of what you could do that would make her feel safe and comfortable would probably help tremendously on this case.

 

[Wild Turkey]

Now it's my turn to judge and diagnose you.

Feel free I have a wife and two adult daughters so there is no chance you come up with a diagnosis they haven’t. I’m professional mental patient in my house.