tReal Official Night Shift v68, because I can and you better love it, Mfers.

Hu War Yu said:
Destination wedding people SUCK

The only worse people are those who leave instructions in their will about how they want their ashes scattered over the Antarctic
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Decades ago, I left instructions that a specific friend was to transport my natural body to a remote mountain top in South Asia where it would be consumed by the resident vultures. The difficulty is that one cannot transport a body that hasn’t been embalmed within the USA. Heh heh…

I’ve changed my will a few times since, and my friend is relieved that I’ve replaced that provision.
 
Me, 2 weeks ago: Hey HR, this lawyer has submitted a subpoena for an employee record (attached), who takes care of that?
VP of HR: I'm CCing whatchamadoodle, they take care of these. Whatchamadoodle, please send them a response.
Paralegal, today: Hey Hu, where's that record you promised me?
Me: Hey Whatchamadoodle and HR VP, did you all send that employee record to the attorney?
VP of HR: We sent them a statement, we are not required to send them anything else without a subpoena

Hu:
hulk smash GIF
 
Dolemite censored said:
www.cbsnews.com

Lion kills businessman at luxury safari lodge in Namibia after he stepped out of tent to use toilet

The victim was camping with other tourists at the tented resort when the early morning tragedy unfolded, police said.
www.cbsnews.com www.cbsnews.com
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In 1969, I stayed at a tent camp in the Kenyan bush. The tents were huge framed things with elevated wood floors. The resident manager told us to do our business before twilight. The main threat was encountering hyenas after dark.
 
When my wife and I finally got around to getting married, she dithered about the location for the ceremony, so we interrupted the reception by having the pianist loudly bang out the first bars of the wedding march to quiet our guests. I said, Excuse me, we have to do this little thing, then we can all get back to celebrating. My brother stood up for me. The daughter stood up for my missus. An ordained friend presided. We exchanged vows and rings, kissed, and presented ourselves as married. Less than ten minutes, and the celebration resumed. Our guests were happily surprised.
 
Tin Man said:
Decades ago, I left instructions that a specific friend was to transport my natural body to a remote mountain top in South Asia where it would be consumed by the resident vultures. The difficulty is that one cannot transport a body that hasn’t been embalmed within the USA. Heh heh…

I’ve changed my will a few times since, and my friend is relieved that I’ve replaced that provision.
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American vultures can get the job done better.

the jungle book disney GIF
 
Inquisitor said:
American vultures can get the job done better.

the jungle book disney GIF
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Maybe, but the ritual is established for centuries in that part of South Asia, and otherwise wouldn’t have stressed out my friend.
 
ngl all these restaurants switching to the robots running around is annoying af
 
Dolemite censored said:
I don't go to destination weddings. Ruffles some feathers, but I'm not spending a couple of thousand bucks to see you toss a bouquet.
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Yeah, if it wasn’t for my cousin (more like a sister), I would probably find an excuse.

I just have to remember not to take any l calls/texts from her while I’ve been drinking between now and then because ol’ Maxie Hilton is itching to fuck me over, I can just feel it.
 
Hu War Yu said:
Me, 2 weeks ago: Hey HR, this lawyer has submitted a subpoena for an employee record (attached), who takes care of that?
VP of HR: I'm CCing whatchamadoodle, they take care of these. Whatchamadoodle, please send them a response.
Paralegal, today: Hey Hu, where's that record you promised me?
Me: Hey Whatchamadoodle and HR VP, did you all send that employee record to the attorney?
VP of HR: We sent them a statement, we are not required to send them anything else without a subpoena

Hu:
hulk smash GIF
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Bruh. It’s a good goddamn thing I had a lil’ staycation last week because that scenario was triggering AF.
 
moxie said:
Yeah, if it wasn’t for my cousin (more like a sister), I would probably find an excuse.

I just have to remember not to take any l calls/texts from her while I’ve been drinking between now and then because ol’ Maxie Hilton is itching to fuck me over, I can just feel it.
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Looks like that January dry resolution is kaput.....
 
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