I have gotten better. My wife likes to push buttons, and then say," I don't know why you have to scream" when it is simply a raised tone. Then that passes me off even more. "Just because you're a bitch in calm tone, doesn't excuse it" has not served me well.
I typically just let shit go, because it isn't worth a fight. Until it is. Pick your battles if you will.
When I pick a hill to die on, I do it calmly now. Just stand my ground and not get upset, and let it fall where ever. Other than that, "it's whatever you want hun."