Burnin Down the House

I've got a related true story...

It was a pleasant early June Saturday about a decade ago. I had opened a bunch of windows in the house to enjoy the fresh air and optimal temperatures. My wife had to work that afternoon and decided to grill some burgers outside first. Not long after she left, I was sitting in the living room and noticed a bit of a haze creep into the room. Assuming it was wafting in from outside, I casually went to investigate its source. I exited through the back door and quickly realized it wasn't a neighbor burning something, it was coming from behind the concrete staircase I had just descended. I immediately called the fire department as I definitively had no direct access to the source of the smoke. By the time they got there, the smoke was much heavier. I couldn't see flames, but there was definitely something that caught fire in the wall.

As I, my kids and dogs were standing in my backyard, I witnessed several firefighters rip apart the wall and ceiling of the back room of my house. When they did, I saw heavy flames in the wall. Thankfully, they were able to extinguish the fire - only taking out one wall of one room in my house.

I and the fire department had initially assumed there was an electrical fault that initiated the fire, but the exposed wall proved that to not be the case - it initiated near the frame of the door where no wires exist. As I was spitballing possibilities with the lead firefighter, my son came up to me and told me he saw my wife set a big spider on fire near the stairs while she was outside grilling!!! :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:
 
I've got a related true story...

It was a pleasant early June Saturday about a decade ago. I had opened a bunch of windows in the house to enjoy the fresh air and optimal temperatures. My wife had to work that afternoon and decided to grill some burgers outside first. Not long after she left, I was sitting in the living room and noticed a bit of a haze creep into the room. Assuming it was wafting in from outside, I casually went to investigate its source. I exited through the back door and quickly realized it wasn't a neighbor burning something, it was coming from behind the concrete staircase I had just descended. I immediately called the fire department as I definitively had no direct access to the source of the smoke. By the time they got there, the smoke was much heavier. I couldn't see flames, but there was definitely something that caught fire in the wall.

As I, my kids and dogs were standing in my backyard, I witnessed several firefighters rip apart the wall and ceiling of the back room of my house. When they did, I saw heavy flames in the wall. Thankfully, they were able to extinguish the fire - only taking out one wall of one room in my house.

I and the fire department had initially assumed there was an electrical fault that initiated the fire, but the exposed wall proved that to not be the case - it initiated near the frame of the door where no wires exist. As I was spitballing possibilities with the lead firefighter, my son came up to me and told me he saw my wife set a big spider on fire near the stairs while she was outside grilling!!! :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:
umm, wow
 
I've got a related true story...

It was a pleasant early June Saturday about a decade ago. I had opened a bunch of windows in the house to enjoy the fresh air and optimal temperatures. My wife had to work that afternoon and decided to grill some burgers outside first. Not long after she left, I was sitting in the living room and noticed a bit of a haze creep into the room. Assuming it was wafting in from outside, I casually went to investigate its source. I exited through the back door and quickly realized it wasn't a neighbor burning something, it was coming from behind the concrete staircase I had just descended. I immediately called the fire department as I definitively had no direct access to the source of the smoke. By the time they got there, the smoke was much heavier. I couldn't see flames, but there was definitely something that caught fire in the wall.

As I, my kids and dogs were standing in my backyard, I witnessed several firefighters rip apart the wall and ceiling of the back room of my house. When they did, I saw heavy flames in the wall. Thankfully, they were able to extinguish the fire - only taking out one wall of one room in my house.

I and the fire department had initially assumed there was an electrical fault that initiated the fire, but the exposed wall proved that to not be the case - it initiated near the frame of the door where no wires exist. As I was spitballing possibilities with the lead firefighter, my son came up to me and told me he saw my wife set a big spider on fire near the stairs while she was outside grilling!!! :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:

She was completely right. That’s the only sensible option. Sometimes you have to sacrifice the house in furtherance of the greater good.
 
I've got a related true story...

It was a pleasant early June Saturday about a decade ago. I had opened a bunch of windows in the house to enjoy the fresh air and optimal temperatures. My wife had to work that afternoon and decided to grill some burgers outside first. Not long after she left, I was sitting in the living room and noticed a bit of a haze creep into the room. Assuming it was wafting in from outside, I casually went to investigate its source. I exited through the back door and quickly realized it wasn't a neighbor burning something, it was coming from behind the concrete staircase I had just descended. I immediately called the fire department as I definitively had no direct access to the source of the smoke. By the time they got there, the smoke was much heavier. I couldn't see flames, but there was definitely something that caught fire in the wall.

As I, my kids and dogs were standing in my backyard, I witnessed several firefighters rip apart the wall and ceiling of the back room of my house. When they did, I saw heavy flames in the wall. Thankfully, they were able to extinguish the fire - only taking out one wall of one room in my house.

I and the fire department had initially assumed there was an electrical fault that initiated the fire, but the exposed wall proved that to not be the case - it initiated near the frame of the door where no wires exist. As I was spitballing possibilities with the lead firefighter, my son came up to me and told me he saw my wife set a big spider on fire near the stairs while she was outside grilling!!! :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:

But seriously though, why in the fuck was your wife grilling? That’s man shit.
 
But seriously though, why in the fuck was your wife grilling? That’s man shit.
It's an agreement we've made from the beginning... She's perpetually disgruntled that I'm better than she is at pretty much everything, so I'm not allowed to cook so she's got something to hang her hat on. I'll help prepare food, but I'm never allowed to be in charge of cooking any meals. And I'm okay with that.
 
It's an agreement we've made from the beginning... She's perpetually disgruntled that I'm better than she is at pretty much everything, so I'm not allowed to cook so she's got something to hang her hat on. I'll help prepare food, but I'm never allowed to be in charge of cooking any meals. And I'm okay with that.

There’s the makings of a blowjob joke here, but I’ll leave it alone...
 
That's spooky stuff. With that in mind, it's probably time for me to replace than tin foil (with new foil) that I've been using in place of a fuse.
Cheap-ass. At least put in some old pennies...
 
I've got a related true story...

It was a pleasant early June Saturday about a decade ago. I had opened a bunch of windows in the house to enjoy the fresh air and optimal temperatures. My wife had to work that afternoon and decided to grill some burgers outside first. Not long after she left, I was sitting in the living room and noticed a bit of a haze creep into the room. Assuming it was wafting in from outside, I casually went to investigate its source. I exited through the back door and quickly realized it wasn't a neighbor burning something, it was coming from behind the concrete staircase I had just descended. I immediately called the fire department as I definitively had no direct access to the source of the smoke. By the time they got there, the smoke was much heavier. I couldn't see flames, but there was definitely something that caught fire in the wall.

As I, my kids and dogs were standing in my backyard, I witnessed several firefighters rip apart the wall and ceiling of the back room of my house. When they did, I saw heavy flames in the wall. Thankfully, they were able to extinguish the fire - only taking out one wall of one room in my house.

I and the fire department had initially assumed there was an electrical fault that initiated the fire, but the exposed wall proved that to not be the case - it initiated near the frame of the door where no wires exist. As I was spitballing possibilities with the lead firefighter, my son came up to me and told me he saw my wife set a big spider on fire near the stairs while she was outside grilling!!! :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:
@moxie will be here shortly to say that the end justifies the means.
 
Thought maybe she was hiding a Tesla under her bed.

Well played Peter.
 
Fuck me, that makes me want to get my electrics inspected.
 
You need to hire a cleaning lady instead of making your daughter vacuum etc.. Sure it can be expensive, but you may be able to get a little strange on the side too. Who doesn't want some pussy and a clean house?
 
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