Burnin Down the House

RP-29 said:
I've got a related true story...

It was a pleasant early June Saturday about a decade ago. I had opened a bunch of windows in the house to enjoy the fresh air and optimal temperatures. My wife had to work that afternoon and decided to grill some burgers outside first. Not long after she left, I was sitting in the living room and noticed a bit of a haze creep into the room. Assuming it was wafting in from outside, I casually went to investigate its source. I exited through the back door and quickly realized it wasn't a neighbor burning something, it was coming from behind the concrete staircase I had just descended. I immediately called the fire department as I definitively had no direct access to the source of the smoke. By the time they got there, the smoke was much heavier. I couldn't see flames, but there was definitely something that caught fire in the wall.

As I, my kids and dogs were standing in my backyard, I witnessed several firefighters rip apart the wall and ceiling of the back room of my house. When they did, I saw heavy flames in the wall. Thankfully, they were able to extinguish the fire - only taking out one wall of one room in my house.

I and the fire department had initially assumed there was an electrical fault that initiated the fire, but the exposed wall proved that to not be the case - it initiated near the frame of the door where no wires exist. As I was spitballing possibilities with the lead firefighter, my son came up to me and told me he saw my wife set a big spider on fire near the stairs while she was outside grilling!!! :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:
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Holy shit! Now that’s a good story....well since everyone was ok.
 
RP-29 said:
It's an agreement we've made from the beginning... She's perpetually disgruntled that I'm better than she is at pretty much everything, so I'm not allowed to cook so she's got something to hang her hat on. I'll help prepare food, but I'm never allowed to be in charge of cooking any meals. And I'm okay with that.
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So is she really bad at blowjobs or are you that good?
 
Peter Gozintite said:
If you can run a dildo on those little disc batteries, good for you. I would expect you to be an expert in field.
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If she's used to that little shit of yours then she could probably run one off of a potato battery and get off.
 
Gatorchip said:
Why do you carry around a screw driver?


I bet she is relived you didn't grab the water bottle half filled with vodka.
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I was using it to replace batteries in the wifes halloween decoration lights. Little pop off cover plate deals
 
Camfantasy said:
If she's used to that little shit of yours then she could probably run one off of a potato battery and get off.
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Been gagging your mom wiff dis hog fur years!
 
packerzrule said:
Glad a potential disaster was avoided. Still trying to figure out why you are walking around with a flat head screwdriver in your pocket though.
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He's always ready for a screw....
 
My friends are shocked to learn I'm not a very good electrician.....
 
fordman84 said:
Mine attaches to my cell phone, would hate to have it part of it all the time.
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thing is pricey. i might have to borrow yours

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