The Pun Thread

It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar. It's a 45 minutes walk from the bar to my house.

The difference is staggering.
 
Did you know the word incorrectly is spelled incorrectly in every English dictionary?
 
I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
 
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
 
I asked my wife if I'm the only one she has ever been with.
She said yes.
The rest were either nines or tens.
 
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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
 
The other day, I was hit in the head by a can of Coke

Good thing it was a soft drink.
 
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets are going through the roof.
 
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
 
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