tOfficial Not really a Night Shift Thread v60, with less spicy sauce.

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moxie said:
I pretty much ended a friendship over one. IDNGAF about the gender of your child and I won't be babysitting, so you can shove it all up yer butt.
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If she was cool with shoving things up her butt, there’d be no need for a gender reveal party in the first place.
 
moxie said:
I pretty much ended a friendship over one. IDNGAF about the gender of your child and I won't be babysitting, so you can shove it all up yer butt.
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Are they different from baby showers, or are they just the extra dumb equivalent?

My close friends figured out long ago that while I was good for gifts, I am not good for attending things like baby showers and wedding showers. Several years back, I was in a friend of mine's wedding, so felt kind of obligated to attend her wedding shower. That was when I had the grave misfortune of being subjected to a toilet paper wedding dress contest. That day I made a vow to myself I would never attend a wedding or baby shower, again. I have happily upheld my vow.
 
williewilliejuan said:
If she was cool with shoving things up her butt, there’d be no need for a gender reveal party in the first place.
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EtuPVvcU0AErdkY
 
huskers1217 said:
what else can i shove up your butt? askin for a friend
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Let me break it down, so you understand (I'm Smalls in this scenario) :

Ham:
Hey, you want a s'more?
Smalls:
Some more of what?
Ham:
No, do you want a s'more?
Smalls:
I haven't had anything yet... so how can I have some more of nothing?
 
moxie said:
I pretty much ended a friendship over one. IDNGAF about the gender of your child and I won't be babysitting, so you can shove it all up yer butt.
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williewilliejuan said:
If she was cool with shoving things up her butt, there’d be no need for a gender reveal party in the first place.
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huskers1217 said:
what else can i shove up your butt? askin for a friend
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Its a good idea to stay away from butts. Nothing good can come out of there.
 
Got forced to attend a baby shower - once.

Damn regional director scheduled one for his wife in one of the main conference rooms (at work!!!!) and there was no way to avoid the fucking thing.
 
ukfanfrombirth(cali cat) said:
Are they different from baby showers, or are they just the extra dumb equivalent?

My close friends figured out long ago that while I was good for gifts, I am not good for attending things like baby showers and wedding showers. Several years back, I was in a friend of mine's wedding, so felt kind of obligated to attend her wedding shower. That was when I had the grave misfortune of being subjected to a toilet paper wedding dress contest. That day I made a vow to myself I would never attend a wedding or baby shower, again. I have happily upheld my vow.
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EXTRA, EXTRA DUMB equivalent!

Just so the parents-to-be know what they're getting if they invite me, I like to ask, "Is it an open bar or bring my own?" :heh:
 
Dole ver 2.0 said:
If I know the couple really well, I'll mail them a Hallmark card with my apologies for not attending.
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Ewwwww! Mr. Rockefeller over here has 4.95 for a gen-u-wine HALLMARK greeting card
 
Hu War Yu said:
Ewwwww! Mr. Rockefeller over here has 4.95 for a gen-u-wine HALLMARK greeting card
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That's where he gets most of his A-list puns from.
 
Mofo said:
That's where he gets most of his A-list puns from.
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Yeah! I--

hey...something's different about you. You lose some weight?
 
williewilliejuan said:
Do they make a fleshlight version for their male customers? Not quite sure what to do with my grammy’s ashes.
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speaking of which. my mom is getting up in age and her husband (my stepdad) is in her closet. when she goes. what the fuck do i do with him? and her for that case because she wants to be cremated.
 
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