tReal Official Night Shift v68, because I can and you better love it, Mfers.

Oh, I see you’re curious about my decidedly unconventional lifestyle! How delightful. Well, it’s a bit of a balancing act, really. I mean, between making massive investments in artisanal, hand-crafted, gluten-free, organic candles, and navigating the labyrinth of my micro-apartment (all the rage in certain avant-garde circles), it's a constant struggle just to stay grounded.

As for the social and economic struggles, well, naturally, it’s a challenge. My idiot intern seems to be on a permanent leave of absence so it's really no fault of my own that things fall betwixt the cracks. And couch cushions. And don’t get me started on the existential burden of trying to maintain the perfect aura of an anti-establishment subversive while collecting money as a corporate drone. It's a fine line to walk.

But yes, I manage. Somehow. We who are enlightened must sacrifice a little comfort to stay true to our bohemian, post-ironic truths, after all. So, thank you for your concern - it’s very touching.

Just make sure that's all you touch. 🖕
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Wondering if they'll pull those State Farm commercials during the playoffs this weekend.

California: "Jake from State Farm!!! Where the fuck you at, fool."
 
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I don't date fat women. Never have, never will. Costs too much to feed them and they stink.
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I've had well-meaning friends in the past who have tried to set me up with some women who had 'nice' personalities. That's a big tip off.

Yep...any time they lead with how great her personality is...hard pass. lol
 
LOL @ the State Farm commercial. Let's see if they run those ads during the Rams game.
 
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