Under the Porch with the Guide Bear!

[Handicappers]

92 dollars worth! Two cartridges and some gummies. My inner junkie has NO concept of money or thrift, none whatsoever!

That cracked me up all day yesterday! You Nebraska guys, I already was sorta confused about who is who and YOU are making it more so!

Here's my ride right here! Notice how my rear view mirrors are facing forward. I don't give three shits whats behind me! Whatever is behind me, that's where it belongs, the fuck outta my way!
View attachment 68982

Is that a moped?

 

[Fish]

Is that a moped?

lol, you rascal

 

[Parka]

Is that a moped?

NO! I'm not that adventurous. It has four wheels and the top speed is only about 5mph, NOT ELEVEN! The one I WANTED to get goes 11MPH, 24-7-365!!! But with the mirrors turned around, I KNOW it looks cool as all get out on my Power Wheels!

I'm taking my afternoon work break. And I don't deserve one because, well I'm not struggling today but I sure am not on fire like I am on other days. I have all 6 of the shelf frames built and I have plywood 'skin' on three of them. I really need to take the Power Wheels out again today and get that primer at the paint store. I hope they sell wood glue because I'm low on that too.

 

[Parka]

Hey friends, good morning! I have several topics to be discussed today.

1. Shelves. These fuckers, all six of them at 6' 4" long, 12" wide and 2" thick, long ass skinny drinks of water! Very lightweight too and sturdy, flat & stiff. But these shelves are every bit as DEMANDING as my inner junkie! Seriously, each one of these shelves is/are needing lengthy time in prep before they see a lick of paint. It will take more time than I anticipated, we are looking at the middle of next week to showcase my latest project in its finished state of glorious GLORY! I'm 6'4" too, how very exciting. 4' 8" in me wheelchair...

2. Yesterday and today. Yesterday kinda sucked. I had to push myself to get any work done and I worked until 8pm eastern too. I did not work all day long though. Several long breaks. Today is going to be so much better, I wake up so lively! Man alive, is that ever a good feeling! Asses will get stomped on this day! My shelves (skinny) asses to be clear!

3. Peace & Love Kind Friends! You are all Loved very much!

 

[Parka]

Good morning Friends! I am up very early today and that's because I retired super early last night.

I have a list of issues that need further discussion and what better place than Under the Porch? These issues that I'm about to dissect, these issues are placed in no certain order of importance. Taken together, they are what my world is made of and a Good time Shan't be Denied under my watch!

1. Shelves. These son's of bitches need me! They need my attention. I have three that are 99% ready to be primed and painted and the other three are still in the 'rough' stage waiting to be worked over. It is a lot of sanding using power sanders at first and it is a rather unpleasant task. I would like to do the sanding outside but the trouble of moving work stations all over Kingdom's Come, it's best for me to stay put and tough it out. The sanding dust, tough it out. I have a makeshift (large fan in doorway) ventilation system to help control the sanding dust. My 'ventilation system' is < than a half measure.

2. My Goldfish. I love them so much! And they love me too. Especially when I feed them. They know what's going on and I just really love having them. All ten of them are healthy and growing. The Den Mother, Pearl, she is so magnificently mannered, she is so flashy and she's showing off or something, she's acting not aggressive but rather extremely high spirited. She is fucking gorgeous! Such a perfect, beautiful fish... And she was destined to be 'fish food' at her start in life, she was sold on the market, to me, as a "Feeder Fish" for a mere 34 cents! I rescued my Pearl and NINE of her relatives! I AM A GOOD PERSON!

3. Sunday Mass Under the Porch. Friends, it looks like this Sunday will be another wash for me, I won't be performing Mass nor will I even be in attendance on account of my 'Next Project'... The good news is, and it's no big surprise to me but Bishop Two Canes has offered to perform Mass in my absence, how very exciting!

That's all for now, thanks for being here, Hoop Friends! You are all needed very much!

 

[Parka]

Good afternoon, Dummies! Well, I have all six shelves ready to paint. But I dint start until 10am eastern! It's because I went back to bed after I got up so early. I fell asleep until 9:30am. So I think I will loaf off for a while, I think I will shower first, all this dust needs rinsed off.

And then I think I will have a puff or two of half-measure hemp derived THC product. I fuckin hate half measures! The cup is half full!

 

[NU_WTF?]

Good afternoon, Dummies! Well, I have all six shelves ready to paint. But I dint start until 10am eastern! It's because I went back to bed after I got up so early. I fell asleep until 9:30am. So I think I will loaf off for a while, I think I will shower first, all this dust needs rinsed off.

And then I think I will have a puff or two of half-measure hemp derived THC product. I fuckin hate half measures! The cup is half full!

Get THC-0 next time or HHC Delta8 is about 60% the potency of Delta9, ya goofball

 

[Parka]

Hi friends & dummies, it's me again! And I have another list of topics to be sorted out, how very exciting!

1. Shelves. I got one side primed and the other side will get primed as soon as I'm finished loafing off.

2. High Bishop Two Canes. Listen friends, Two Canes is SUPER amped to perform an all inclusive non-denominational Mass for the Sinners of the Hoop. Do NOT be fooled by the High Bishop! This is a fair and proper warning, all's he wants from religion is to get High!
The High Bishop has been on so SO many Spiritual 'Trips', and he has a penchant for spiking the Sacrament with psychedelic drugs!

3. My Pearl. She has really made a Splash in my life! Here are pics



On the left is Half & Half, that's their bland side. Half & Half wants the nick name of Candy Cane and we have to wait and see what the Candy Fish Family think about that. It's out of my grubby hands!


That's Christmas Candy at the bottom and above left is Car Mole Candy.

 

[Parka]

Hey friends, I'm off to paint in a moment but I forgot to mention, by far, the best part of today! Bunny and I worked together. She painted that wall black. I just had a puff of half-measure, not bad! Anyway yeah, Me & Bunny or Me & Dr. Dean? Because now I'm concerned Dr. Dean doesn't have such a crush on me after all. Listen friends, I only want ONE of them, I'm happy with one at a time!

Here's what happint with Doc Dean. After our last date, she said she dint want to see me again for 2 weeks! I said no, I asked her to go on another virtual with me in one week and she agreed. But still, what a disappointment! I was hoping to turn on the charm switch the subject to 'her'... But now with Bunny, ah crap! I'm torn!

Sing it with me, Dummies!

 

[Parka]

Evening Friends! Self reporting here: I got those shelves primed with 2 coats and tomorrow the topcoats will be finished and I might try some dry fits if I have enough time, if the paint is dry enough.

And the other thing I wanted to mention, I dun did it again, I put NU_FTW on ignore because he's wearing an improper avy and that woman hates my guts so I had to put that ding dong on ignore until he behaves 'eem self! Why is he doing that I wonder?

 

[NU_WTF?]

Evening Friends! Self reporting here: I got those shelves primed with 2 coats and tomorrow the topcoats will be finished and I might try some dry fits if I have enough time, if the paint is dry enough.

And the other thing I wanted to mention, I dun did it again, I put NU_FTW on ignore because he's wearing an improper avy and that woman hates my guts so I had to put that ding dong on ignore until he behaves 'eem self! Why is he doing that I wonder?

Again? You've done it before?

 

[NU_WTF?]

@Parka what it do?

 

[Parka]

Again? You've done it before?

Again? You've done it before?

Twice! I dun did it twice! Done what before?

Once
Twice
Three kinds of Lovers!

@Parka what it do?

What did 'what' do? I need more words, more information!

 

[NU_WTF?]

Twice! I dun did it twice! Done what before?

Once
Twice
Three kinds of Lovers!

What did 'what' do? I need more words, more information!

Put me on ignore

 

[Parka]

Put me on ignore

Again, already? Okay, if you insist. Your Demand Shan't be Denied!

I got @NU_FTW back on full ignore. My ignore feature has three settings, Full, that is when neither party can see either's posts.
Half iggy 1, that is when I can read them and they can't read me, it's my favorite!
Half iggy 2, that is when they can see me but I can't see them! Eff that noise! I wanna know what them dunces are saying bout me!

Okay Friends, High Bishop Two Canes hasn't showed up yet, he runs a 'Bible Study' shop called "Cloud Nine" and that place is busy as a fuck on the weekends!

The Guide Bear painted this mural on the wall in the store. Who knew the Guide Bear was so talented!?!

 

[Parka]

And I got one topcoat on one side of those shelves. I can go do another coat right now, how very exciting!

But before I do that I'd like to discuss my love interests.

1. Den Mother Pearl. Drop dead gorgeous is what she is. And I do believe that my Pearl is beginning to transform... into a Mermaid!

2. Dr. Dean. Drop dead gorgeous is what she is. And Bunny wants to join in next time! I tole Bunny to get her own shrink, I ain't sharon and I ain't wanting no three ways neither! It will be SO awkward when I try to charm Dr. Dean with Bunny there!

Oh well, I am a HE-MAN and us he-men, you know, we do He-Man things, it is what is... until it ain't no more!

 

[Fish]

Hey friends, good morning! I have several topics to be discussed today.

1. Shelves. These fuckers, all six of them at 6' 4" long, 12" wide and 2" thick, long ass skinny drinks of water! Very lightweight too and sturdy, flat & stiff. But these shelves are every bit as DEMANDING as my inner junkie! Seriously, each one of these shelves is/are needing lengthy time in prep before they see a lick of paint. It will take more time than I anticipated, we are looking at the middle of next week to showcase my latest project in its finished state of glorious GLORY! I'm 6'4" too, how very exciting. 4' 8" in me wheelchair...

2. Yesterday and today. Yesterday kinda sucked. I had to push myself to get any work done and I worked until 8pm eastern too. I did not work all day long though. Several long breaks. Today is going to be so much better, I wake up so lively! Man alive, is that ever a good feeling! Asses will get stomped on this day! My shelves (skinny) asses to be clear!

3. Peace & Love Kind Friends! You are all Loved very much!

Friday sucked for me too. Let me tell you about it. Drove the motorhome 90 miles to Sarasota, Florida. I had a minor mechanical problem on my way to Florida last fall and my road service provider had me towed to a repair shop. Tow truck did some damage to the front of my motorhome. After much haggling between my insurance company and tow truck company and their insurance, they're paying for it. So I dropped it off to be fixed. $16,600. And from 20 ft away you can't even see the damage.

But anyway...

Left Sarasota and drove straight through to rural Marion, IL with a rest area stop for a 2 hour nap and 3 stops for gas, plus a few stops to walk Gunner and for me and wife to use bathroom. Got home Saturday at 10. Unloaded all the stuff from the pickup truck. Took the battery maintainer off my GMC Terrain and started it, it started right up after being in storage all winter. Aired the tires up on my John Deere zero turn and filled it with gas. It started right up so I proceeded to spend 3 hours mowing 2 acres of foot tall grass.

Took enough breaks to see the Celtics win (YAY) and the Cardinals win (YAY). Too damn tired to eat so I had a white russian, or 3, and laid down in bed to watch tv. I went out immediately. Missed all my favorite shows, the end of Svengoolie, Combat, Rat Patrol, 12 O'Clock High.

We got fiber optic to the house while we were gone so I've spent all morning typing wifi passwords into devices here so I can dump dish network and go to streaming tv.

Nice talk, I'm going to go mix another drink.

 

[Parka]

Friday sucked for me too. Let me tell you about it. Drove the motorhome 90 miles to Sarasota, Florida. I had a minor mechanical problem on my way to Florida last fall and my road service provider had me towed to a repair shop. Tow truck did some damage to the front of my motorhome. After much haggling between my insurance company and tow truck company and their insurance, they're paying for it. So I dropped it off to be fixed. $16,600. And from 20 ft away you can't even see the damage.

But anyway...

Left Sarasota and drove straight through to rural Marion, IL with a rest area stop for a 2 hour nap and 3 stops for gas, plus a few stops to walk Gunner and for me and wife to use bathroom. Got home Saturday at 10. Unloaded all the stuff from the pickup truck. Took the battery maintainer off my GMC Terrain and started it, it started right up after being in storage all winter. Aired the tires up on my John Deere zero turn and filled it with gas. It started right up so I proceeded to spend 3 hours mowing 2 acres of foot tall grass.

Took enough breaks to see the Celtics win (YAY) and the Cardinals win (YAY). Too damn tired to eat so I had a white russian, or 3, and laid down in bed to watch tv. I went out immediately. Missed all my favorite shows, the end of Svengoolie, Combat, Rat Patrol, 12 O'Clock High.

We got fiber optic to the house while we were gone so I've spent all morning typing wifi passwords into devices here so I can dump dish network and go to streaming tv.

Nice talk, I'm going to go mix another drink.

It sounds like you have more than enough to keep you busy, good for you, Fish! And thanks for sharing your story, cool!

 

[Parka]

I can't stop laughing about Fish's joke today about making Ill promise not to do something. The reason it was SO funny to me is because Fish made it inclusive so I imagined myself there, at there fight.

Because Friends, I am NOT at that fight hoping to receive fellatio, I am simply here as a spectator!

Anyway, I want to talk about my three love interests some more.

1. Dr. Dean. Dr. / Patient relationship by day, Lovers by nightfall! The prolem is, I ain't dun did charm her already yet and she's so purty and smart and nice and sweet, she's prolly already dun did taken anyway!

2. Bunny. She just isn't trying much at all and I have been handling it much better now that I have three choices for a lover!

3. My Pearl... there are no words... we were simply meant to be...

 

[Parka]