Poll Am I The Asshole Here?

[BigRedMoe]

Sounds like your family and my family should get together and have a fucking tournament of champions BBQ er some shit?

Culminating in a Circle of Jerk... with an ookie snookie in the middle.

 

[huskers1217]

Culminating in a Circle of Jerk... with an ookie snookie in the middle.

 

[beardown07]

Culminating in a Circle of Jerk... with an ookie snookie in the middle.

 

[Tin Man]

What about this coming Sunday? Where will you be watching the Lions?

Edit: And, will there be potato salad?

 

[RobBase]

Wow is my family boring. The most exciting Thanksgiving we ever had....

Mom had made duck and dressing as the main dishes. Various other sides were there. My aunt Linda (mom's brother's wife) refused to come into the dining room to eat. She said she was upset that the protein was duck b/c she didn't like duck. My mother reminded her that there were various other things to eat and she should come help her young children out. Linda still refused to come into the dining room b/c of the duck. My mother told her that that was fine. That she could sit on the couch in the living room, but she was not to get up while everyone was eating. "If you get up--even to go to the bathroom or get a glass of water--I'll throw your ass out that window. Don't fuckin move for the next hour and a half."

Though dinner was tense, the duck was great.

One year my bar star cousin (who ironically left her husband and two kids as well) brought one of her new boyfriends to Christmas. He was a fucking magician.

The next year he didn’t show up and it was real hush hush about why he wasn’t there.

Turned out he was in prison for molesting his own mentally disabled daughter.

This is also vampire cousin’s mom.

So…yeah.

I swear my dad is totally normal. But his side of the family is really fucked up.

I have another cousin oh that side who once got put into a mental hospital for slicing his own neck open with a knife.

I could prob write a Netflix series about all the crazy stories I have about these people.

 

[huskers1217]

One year my bar star cousin (who ironically left her husband and two kids as well) brought one of her new boyfriends to Christmas. He was a fucking magician.

The next year he didn’t show up and it was real hush hush about why he wasn’t there.

Turned out he was in prison for molesting his own mentally disabled daughter.

This is also vampire cousin’s mom.

So…yeah.

I swear my dad is totally normal. But his side of the family is really fucked up.

I have another cousin oh that side who once got put into a mental hospital for slicing his own neck open with a knife.

I could prob write a Netflix series about all the crazy stories I have about these people.

me and @moxie are all ears

 

[BigRedMoe]

Sure thang, snookie.

 

[RobBase]

me and @moxie are all ears

I have another much older cousin on that side of the family that works on top secret military shit. No one knows exactly what he does, and he never talks about it. He’s cool and I stay on his good side just in case shit goes down one day.

 

[Peter Gozintite]

There was just no way I was going to watch that game with a Viking fan & a Bear fan. I hope they were miserable watching the Lions win.

Wtf man?! Why am I catching strays over here?

 

[RobBase]

Wtf man?! Why am I catching strays over here?

That post was directed at my NFC North rival brother-in-laws. The Bear fan is also an Ohio State fan. The good news is he usually has good weed and really knows his way around a smoker. So I tolerate it.

 

[Mofo]

One year my bar star cousin (who ironically left her husband and two kids as well) brought one of her new boyfriends to Christmas. He was a fucking magician.

The next year he didn’t show up and it was real hush hush about why he wasn’t there.

Turned out he was in prison for molesting his own mentally disabled daughter.

This is also vampire cousin’s mom.

So…yeah.

I swear my dad is totally normal. But his side of the family is really fucked up.

I have another cousin oh that side who once got put into a mental hospital for slicing his own neck open with a knife.

I could prob write a Netflix series about all the crazy stories I have about these people.

Holiday meals sound like they could be the stuff of legend.

 

[PackJason]

Grow your own set of balls.

 

[RobBase]

Holiday meals sound like they could be the stuff of legend.

Used to be until the vampires ruined Christmas with their wildly inappropriate attire.

People started noping the fuck out after that, and my aunt who eventually got attacked by Vampire 1 with broken glass got all crabby about it because it was her grand kid. Then it turned on her.

I obviously saw all this shit coming for years. I was the only one who didn’t attend the vampire wedding.

 

[RobBase]

Grow your own set of balls.

The funniest shit ever was asking the vampires who they had in the big game. You should have seen the looks on their pale faces when I turned off the Nightmare Before Christmas and flipped on football.

I still laugh picturing it.

 

[PackJason]

The funniest shit ever was asking the vampires who they had in the big game. You should have seen the looks on their pale faces when I turned off the Nightmare Before Christmas and flipped on football.

I still laugh picturing it.

Bath salts are cool.

 

[beardown07]

One year my bar star cousin (who ironically left her husband and two kids as well) brought one of her new boyfriends to Christmas. He was a fucking magician.

The next year he didn’t show up and it was real hush hush about why he wasn’t there.

Turned out he was in prison for molesting his own mentally disabled daughter.

This is also vampire cousin’s mom.

So…yeah.

I swear my dad is totally normal. But his side of the family is really fucked up.

I have another cousin oh that side who once got put into a mental hospital for slicing his own neck open with a knife.

I could prob write a Netflix series about all the crazy stories I have about these people.

You had me at "magician".

 

[RobBase]

You had me at "magician".

He showed up to Christmas wearing a cape then didn’t do his act.

 

[rfjeff9]

Wow is my family boring. The most exciting Thanksgiving we ever had....

Mom had made duck and dressing as the main dishes. Various other sides were there. My aunt Linda (mom's brother's wife) refused to come into the dining room to eat. She said she was upset that the protein was duck b/c she didn't like duck. My mother reminded her that there were various other things to eat and she should come help her young children out. Linda still refused to come into the dining room b/c of the duck. My mother told her that that was fine. That she could sit on the couch in the living room, but she was not to get up while everyone was eating. "If you get up--even to go to the bathroom or get a glass of water--I'll throw your ass out that window. Don't fuckin move for the next hour and a half."

Though dinner was tense, the duck was great.

So....you had duck again every Thanksgiving after right?

 

[Tin Man]

So....you had duck again every Thanksgiving after right?

With the head on…

 

[rfjeff9]

With the head on…