Movie Road House (2024)

[SU Nittany Tide]

The greatest ridiculous movie of all time.




Imagine the pitch to the producers…

”Our hero is a bouncer”

”So you are making a Flubber remake?”

”No, not that kind of ‘bouncer’. A bouncer, like working the door at a bar.”

”OK. So who are you looking to star? Sly? Arnold?”

”No, no. Have you ever seen ‘Dirty Dancing’? We want THAT guy.”

”The dancer?”

”Um, yeah. The dancer.”

”Well, alright. So you have a dancer working the door of a bar. Is this a love story? A musical?”

”No. Not at all. He is a high end bouncer who gets paid lots of money to clean up the scene. He is a one-man A-Team.”

”He is a Viet Nam vet? And a dancer?”

”No. In this movie, he isn’t a dancer. And we won’t mention anything about any potential military background.”

”So the guy from ‘Dirty Dancing”, who isn’t a dancer, is like a one-man A-Team, but with no military background?”

”Essentially, yeah.”

”OK. So this takes place in New York? Chicago? LA?”

”No. it takes place in Kentucky, Tennessee, something like that. Back woods, small town.”

”So a small town bar can afford a high end, A-Team like one-man gang (who is not a dancer) to come work their door? Why do they need someone like that?”

”The local drug dealer is essentially a cartel in and of himself, and uses this bar as his hub of distribution.”

”In bum-fuck Tennessee?”

”Well, yeah.”

”And this bar is worth saving? Why doesn’t the bar owner just cut his losses and sell to the big bad?”

”Because the bar needs to be there for the people. The moral fiber of the town needs to be saved.”

”With a bar?”

”Well, um, yeah.”

”Sounds GREAT! How much do you need?”

I liked this all.... but the flubber bit. Who would think that?

 

[calsnowskier]

I liked this all.... but the flubber bit. Who would think that?

Who would think to hire a high-end bouncer in Bum-Fuck Tennessee to save the heart and soul of a town by protecting the local bar?

 

[SU Nittany Tide]

Who would think to hire a high-end bouncer in Bum-Fuck Tennessee to save the heart and soul of a town by protecting the local bar?

Nobody thinks a movie starring a bouncer would be about a magical rubber thing. The rest was great. Take the compliment.

 

[Center Ice]

That’s gonna be a tough ask.

Heard he's playing at the Pearly Gates Pub this weekend!

 

[calsnowskier]

Heard he's playing at the Pearly Gates Pub this weekend!

And Daulton is working the door.

 

[Pattersonca65]

Okay Jake. We get it.

I wonder if JG is going to be required to sport a mullet in the movie?

 

[Mofo]

I wonder if JG is going to be required to sport a mullet in the movie?

I would hope so. The movie will be better if it's a mostly shot-for-shot remake, and is willing to poke fun at itself. Instead, it's likely going to be more "gritty" and "updated" for today's audiences... except probably retaining all the homoerotic stuff.

 

[PeoplesChicken]

I love the sheer absurdity of that movie like there’s such a thing as a “high end” bouncer that regular people have heard of. Who’s getting the Kelly Lynch role? Can’t be Heath Ledger.

You are underestimating CGI

 

[PeoplesChicken]

That’s gonna be a tough ask.

is Jeff ded?

 

[PeoplesChicken]

I would hope so. The movie will be better if it's a mostly shot-for-shot remake, and is willing to poke fun at itself. Instead, it's likely going to be more "gritty" and "updated" for today's audiences... except probably retaining all the homoerotic stuff.

What homoerotic stuff???????????????????????

 

[PeoplesChicken]

Hollywood can't seem to come up with anything new that's watchable.

That ok as long as they remake movies that I like. Rumor 'round the campfire is a Young Guns sequel is coming

 

[UK Cowboy]

Roadhouse was fun as shit till the last 10 minutes. One of the stupidest endings ever. Still...Swayze and Elliott are a hard act to follow on the cool scale

 

[PeoplesChicken]

Roadhouse was fun as shit till the last 10 minutes. One of the stupidest endings ever. Still...Swayze and Elliott are a hard act to follow on the cool scale

And Sam should be in the movie

 

[Mofo]

What homoerotic stuff???????????????????????

For real? It'd be easier to pick out the parts of the movie which WEREN'T homoerotic.

 

[PeoplesChicken]

For real? It'd be easier to pick out the parts of the movie which WEREN'T homoerotic.

No this isn't accurate

 

[Mofo]

No this isn't accurate

LOL. Swayze is full-on chest oil. Characters say things like "your ass is mine, boy", "You know, I heard you had balls big enough to come in a dump truck, but you don't look like much to me" and "I used to fuck guys like you in prison".

It's among the gayest of movies. Oh, and if you enjoyed Top Gun, you might also be gay.

 

[williewilliejuan]

is Jeff ded?

Indeed

 

[UK Cowboy]

LOL. Swayze is full-on chest oil. Characters say things like "your ass is mine, boy", "You know, I heard you had balls big enough to come in a dump truck, but you don't look like much to me" and "I used to fuck guys like you in prison".

It's among the gayest of movies. Oh, and if you enjoyed Top Gun, you might also be gay.

Sounds like see a lot of tight man to man everywhere you look. Maybe it's not the movie that's gay....

 

[Center Ice]

That ok as long as they remake movies that I like. Rumor 'round the campfire is a Young Guns sequel is coming

I do like the new Star Wars prequel stuff like the Mandalorian and the Book of Boba Fett. They were excellent but not movies.

 

[Pattersonca65]

Road House did not do well at the Box Office. It became a cult classic after it was released. A lot of people aren't even aware a second Road House was made, Road House 2 which never went anywhere. I see bust all over this new movie.